new look

i wanted to change my blog's color to green. because i'm an expert, it turned out blue instead! anyways...

i hope to change it to green tomorrow or the next day. green and yellow are the colors for 2012! i want to go with the trend-or not! hahaha! who knows, lazy me might find it too much of an effort. oh wait, i promised not to be lazy anymore so this template will probably be short-lived!

like it matters much! hahaha! whatevs!

xoxo!

resolutions

i have a few new year's resolution i hope to keep. i promise to do my very best!

1. pray more novenas
2. be healthier a.k.a. lose weight!
3. i will no longer drink coke!
4. lesser sweets and desserts for 2012
   
5. be nicer to everyone!
6. save, save, save!
7. try not to be too lazy!

as of the moment, these are all i can think of. i really do hope i can accomplish all these!

happy new year everyone!

the new year

the new year is coming soon. it will be the year of the water dragon. i, being born on the year of the rooster, am supposed to have a lucky 2012. i do not know what to make of that. i do not know if i am supposed to expect much because i have never considered myself a lucky person.

i am also surprised at people who say 2011 was an unlucky year for them. for me, life always has its ups and downs. i have always been practical and realistic. it would be expecting too much from the fates if life was always happy and great. there has to be a balance, there is good and bad. despite my being practical, i am a "glass is half-full" person. of course, i am looking forward to a lucky and prosperous year ahead. who isn't. but i believe it helps to accept reality. life is a bed roses-that is, roses have thorns!

nevertheless, i am looking forward to the year ahead. may all of us be blessed and have good health always!

high school life

last night was a big night for my old high school. we celebrated our grand high school reunion with all the batches who graduated from the school. the organizers planned it for several months and finally it came into fruition. i was debating whether to join or not but was finally convinced. and i did not regret the decision. me and make-up are not supposed to be in the same sentence. but i had to put on war paint, don a cocktail dress and forced myself to wear heels for one night. it was worth the effort. i looked great, if i say so myself!

but what made the event more memorable was the people that joined it. i was glad to see so many familiar faces. i actually studied in a special public high school wherein there was only one section per year. yes, we were so few that we knew everyone by name. even if it was special, it was still a public school and that meant little facilities. i experienced sharing books, raffling off books and lacking books! we had to clean our own restroom and there was no light! i studied in a private school in elementary so a public school was foreign to me. despite the limited number of students, we still lacked classrooms. we had our classes in the canteen, in the library and finally on the stage!

aside from the lack of resources, i did learn a lot and had the time of my life. high school was really fun. our school was far from the highway so we had to walk. even tricycle drivers didn't want to take us to the school if they had a choice. my classmates and i encountered many goats and cows daily. despite all the trouble (we considered it trouble before) we survived four years together. we had to join CAT even if we were still third year high school students. we also had to pick up cow dung for fertilizers, performed incredible experiments and had our special cheating arrangements.

it's been thirteen years since we left our school. now the school has improved and most of its students are rich. they have a two-story building already, with facilities we never got to make use of. but if you ask me, i would still prefer my old school to the new one now. our primitive facilities before allowed us to be more resourceful and creative. i was actually the only one among my cousins who didn't study in a private high school. but i am thankful for that. i wouldn't have met and know such incredible people who are geniuses in their own rights.

silent treatment

as i've grown older and matured (ehem!) i've decided to stop persuading people. for instance if they agree and assent, very well. if not, i couldn't care less. a good example is a certain girlfriend of mine. when we decide to meet up, she always has excuses. i have gotten so tired of it that i no longer bother to convince her. i only ask her once and that's it for me.

yesterday was our grand high school reunion. i was joining together with three of my girlfriends. i asked her and my other girlfriend if they were coming. she said she would rather join her husband's high school reunion. i didn't reply anymore. when the party was underway, she asked how it was going. guess what i did? yes, i ignored her. and why not? why was she bothering me? she chose not to attend and that is her loss not mine.

call me mean or petty, that's okay. i just don't like people like her anymore, sorry. all she'll get from me is silent treatment.

top three

My baby's top three lines are:

1. hey, what's the big idea?
2. i don't like you! away!
3. hmmm.. which one i like

oh and the last line? change channel for baby!

only the truth

i just would like to state that everything i write in this blog really happened. hahaha! i do not fabricate any stories and make up truths. this partially the reason why some of my posts are boring! = )

i don't have a very exciting life. i don't always go out and have adventures. but i am quite ahppy with this life that i have. so if the posts i share my be limited and not that interesting, i apologize. i cannot pretend to be someone else.

but i thank the people who have taken the time to read some of my ramblings. maybe some just happen to read my entries by chance, others by mistake etc. still, thank you very much.

now he calls...

i do not believe in being friends with all your ex-boyfriends. i am friends with some of my exes but not all. i have two ex-boyfriends that the bf knows about. he does not want me to be friends with either of them. i couldn't agree more. i hate ex-bf no.1. i'm not bitter! but i don't like him anymore. while i am partly to blame for the hurt i felt when i was still in a relationship with him, still i cannot forget it. i can forgive, i guess but i will never forget. he had the gall to add me as a friend in facebook. naturally, i ignored it. i didn't even bother telling the bf about it.

as for the ex-bf no. 2, well he's a persistent one. up to now, he still says he loves me etc. hah! are you wondering how he says that to me? he calls me up, that's how. you see, i am friends with his cousin and he finally got my number from him. i usually ignore his calls (when i realize it's him who is calling) but i was mistaken about two times already.

last monday was the second time. i was at home, waiting for the bf to come. it was our scheduled "date". we try to do that once or twice a week, if the schedule permits. to spend time together and hang out without "business concerns". when the appointed time came, the bf texted that his aunts were visiting and he couldn't get away. i obviously had no choice. i was too lazy to go out so i just stayed home and worked. at about 4:30 pm, my cellphone rang. it was an overseas call. i figured it was the ex-bf no.2. since i wasn't busy, i answered it. we talked for about 10-15 minutes. at the back of my mind, i was thinking what to tell the bf if he happened to call me. my question was immediately answered because the bf arrived. he asked who was i talking to because he couldn't get through. i told him it was my girlfiend who wanted to catch up. i didn't bother saying goodbye to the ex. i just hung up, else i'd be caught. = )

i'm not really guilty for talking to him because i have no feelings for him at all. he even asked if i missed him and my answer was a flat-out no! i really don't. but to be honest, part of me also wants to feel desired (i guess). the bf does not want to compliment me too much because he's afraid that i'll leave him! the fact that this ex-bf is still longing for me somehow it makes me feel very beautiful indeed!

a-hole!!!

i am not exactly the best "friend" in the world. i don't bother myself with much of the trivial details of their lives, nor do i burden them with mine. i am happy to be with them if time permits but i do not always keep in touch. i reply to texts or emails but i do not do it first. my friends all know i am always out of the loop and sometimes i don't try to keep up anymore.

but i am saddened by one news i heard last night. my friend who is pregnant right now was apprently abandoned by her husband. maybe abandonment is too strong but that is how i perceive it. he left december 22 to work abroad-without telling her! he just left without a word, no goodbye or warning whatsover. she called him at his place of work because she was ready to come home from her own office. she was told he resigned already. when she got home, she discovered all his clothes were gone. ouch! they have been having problems because the husband has another woman. this woman is working overseas. apparently, she is the stepping stone he used so he could get work in that particular country. she came home last october and they left together this december.

my friend was expecting him to leave. she knew he was still carrying on with the woman even if he had gone home with them. i, however, had no idea. when i learned she was expecting, i thought they had settled everything between them. in fact, she was the one who asked me once if i was okay. i told her i was always okay and she should take care of herself. to be honest, i got peeved when she told me she was pregnant. i was tired of her being a martyr and i knew that her being with child means she will go back to him yet again and he will continually break her heart. boy, was i right! it wasn't a merry christmas for her at all. no wonder she said she needed her friends. i cannot imagine the pain she is going through right now. her husband is a first class piece of crap that should not be allowed to live. luckily, she is a strong person and she will get through this with her head held high. we jokingly told her we are willing to offer her all kinds of help-except for financial help, that is.

how was your christmas?

yesterday was december 25 and christmas is over. i celebrated mine with all my loved ones (family, relatives and friends) with much laughter and fun. my family and i went to midnight mass before noche buena. after we lighted some sparklers and watched fireworks in the sky and slept. the baby enjoyed the sparklers. in fact he said he was "sparklering".

i did more giving than receiving and it feels quite good. i've really gotten used to not getting much during this time. i haven't even opened a gift-wrapped present yet and i doubt if i ever will receive one. the bf was very practical in giving me money so i'm definitely not going to get a wrapped present from him. my sister did get me a perfume but she didn't wrap it, you see.

the bf still did his exercise on christmas morning but i didn't. i did go with him because he misses me if i don't. i didn't give him any present because my budget was really tight this year. besides, he wasn't expecting anything from me anyway. = )

the baby didn't get a lot of toys this year. instead, he mostly got clothes. but that's okay, we even gave away most of his old toys to the less fortunate kids in the neighborhood. he still has enough to amuse him and his cousin. even his dad did not want to get him toys because they will easily get destroyed. since the baby knows how to sing jingle bells, he sang for his dad. in return, he got 50 pesos.

my mom thinks i still owe her a gift. i didn't get her one because i already gave her cash. my dad chose his own gift from me as well. and i would prefer that than give him something he wouldn't use or like. my dad is the lousiest gift giver of all. last year, when we had our kris kringle, he gave me a set of bed linens. hello???!!* but of course, i accepted it with grace and dignity even if me and my mom were laughing so hard when he went out of the room. my sister and brother did not get any present from me either. oh well...

my time with the girlfriends was a barrel of laughs (as usual!) we are all lucky to have been spared from the typhoon. my girlfriends and i are going to share to the less fortunate before the end of the year. we set it to december 30 because of conflicting schedules. we plan to give to the victims of sendong but we still need to plan this- or rather not plan. we are all for spontaneity because most of our plans are doomed to fail. it is going to be our third year of gift-giving.

that was my christmas, how was yours?

Merry Christmas!

it's the season for giving and forgiving! may you all have a merry christmas. material things and presents come and go. instead, focus on love and sharing and happiness. we should all be thankful for the gift of life, though life can be hard at times. it can be trying and daunting when we least expect it, but remember that trials also come to an end. the best we all can do is to stand up when we fall and forge on ahead. life may be difficult, but life is also beautiful.

God bless us always! Enjoy your Christmas!

hahaha!

the baby was eating lunch when a bit of gravy fell on his shorts. he doesn't like getting dirty said
this

baby: mommy, i want to change!
me: ok, we'll call ate after you finish eating (i was too lazy to change him!)

when he was done, i called his yaya to change his clothes.

after an hour or so, he drank water and a bit of water fell on my leggings.

baby: mommy, you're wet. ate, change mommy!!!

hahaha! serves me right!

guilt

whenever i travel with the bf now, i feel guilty about leaving the baby. i'm just away for 2-3 days at most but i still feel sad about having to leave him behind. when he was younger, it was okay. after all, he does not exactly understand it. but now that he is more aware, i feel really guilty. take for instance this week, when he saw me dressed to go, he said "i want to come with you". oohh! i told him i'll just come back right away and i'll take him to the mall afterwards. i actually took the entire week off from work just so i could spend quality time with him. he also got to spend time with his dad before we left.

because of the guilt that i feel, i always make it up to the baby. i spend the whole day with him, feed him, take him out and buy him toys. it's the only way i know how to make up for my absence. and i think he likes it. i just got back early this morning and the baby was already awake. so i took him to my bedroom. he just played on the bed while i rested. then we went out and i got him a new toy (luckily, it was inexpensive) afterwards, we went home and i gave him his lunch. now, we're holed up in the bedroom. he's playing with his toys and watching cartoons at the same time. time to bond! = )

expensive tastes

my baby has quite expensive taste when it comes to toys. that or the fact that toys are really expensive nowadays. either way, i cannot seem to afford the toys he likes. for one, he wants to have hotwheels wall tracks. his cousins have one in their house and he only gets to play when he visits. i scouted around and found out it costs P2,300 more or less for the starter kit. huh??? that much? he also wants to have a vtech electronic learning game that i'm sure costs several thousands as well. if you ask him, he can narrate the toys he wants: scan2go, power rangers, ben10 and of course, thomas the train.

i would have wanted my son to have a merry christmas but i'm afraid i can't buy them all. i have yet to wrap a christmas present for him. and i can't do that because i haven't bought one yet. hahaha! oh well! his daddy also does not know what to give him yet. but i told him to get the vtech game. hopefully, he'll be able to buy it in time. at least, that's one toy off my list.

i know my baby is a bit spoiled but he's the only one i've got. who else am i supposed to spoil? = )

hating on the club

it's human nature to be jealous and hate other people, i think. i don't particularly care about what other people think about me--especially if it ain't true. and even if it is, what do you care? hahaha! haters can't bring me down. no sireee!

haters are also very much present online. i often read other people's scathing and hateful comments or even blogs against a certain personality etc. and it amazes me that they have so much effort to expend. chuvaness (cecille zamora-van stratten) has haters and tries to bring her down or so she says in her blog. but if you ask me, i think they're just jealous. after all, she's got it all. she's rich, happy with a handsome husband and cute kids.

i am the type of person who feels happy for other people's happiness and feel sad when they're down. i believe these haters have the typical crab mentality who hate it when other people succeed. instead of seeing the good side of things, they focus on the negative. and i find that pathetic. haters spend and spread a lot of negative energy to others. when i read haters remarks, i do admit that it is quite funny. but it doesn't change the fact that it is hurtful.

i wish people would just stop judging and instead get on with their own lives. they'd be more productive that way.

big baby

my baby has grown up so fast. he talks so much, and it's too much at times.

me: baby, faster! let's go!
baby: yes, i'm fastering!

*****
in the car:
baby: daddy, drive propery. you hit me!
(actually, his dad was driving quite fast and had to brake because another vehicle turned from the corner while he was in the backseat lying down)

*****
mama: baby, come outside. there's a helicopter in the sky
baby (watching television): i'm not going anywhere!

*****

baby: i want to eat that (i'm eating a hot fudge sundae)
me: you can't. you have a cough.
baby: i'm not coughing anymore

*****

me: we'll go to lolo's house, baby. we'll ride the motorcycle.
baby: i don't wike the motorcyle. i want to ride the car.

*****
the baby can't say "L" instead he pronounces words using "W"
examples are:
wiwipop for lollipop
wike for like
sweep for sleep
piwow for pillow
wock for lock
bow for ball

my christmas list

i have yet to complete my christmas list. i haven't even gotten anything for the baby yet. this year, i plan to give him several toys and wrap it for him especially. however, the toys i want for him are expensive so i'll probably end up buying only one! = )

when i made a list of my godchildren, i noticed that my list was a bit short. and i was racking my brains for kids i was supposed to buy presents for but i can't seem to remember. then last week, my friend pm-ed me. i was invited to her kid's birthday who happened to be my godchild! hahaha! no wonder my list is short, she wasn't included! so i had to add her name.

i plan to complete my list tomorrow or tuesday. i am flying out again by wednesday. friday and saturday will probably be a too late. i have yet to assess the budget and i am waiting for the bf to give me my christmas bonus! hahaha!

deebeedee

on our trips, the bf never fails to stop by banawe for car accessories and what not. we have "suki" stores already and sometimes the bf calls ahead to have his order prepared in advance. we never have time to go to the mall but we always have time for banawe.

in banawe, there are a lot of hawkers selling mangoes from camiguin, chafing dishes, shoe racks, chamois and of course, pirated dvds. they're sold at 3 for 100 and yes, i buy them. hahaha! i normally have little time to go to the movies but i can watch dvds on sundays. i usually just buy three at a time. they're the movies currently shown in the movie theaters and are clear copies already. this week, i only got cartoons for the baby. i probably have six movies and one series to watch and i haven't started yet. things have been pretty busy lately...

yes, ronnie ricketts should fine me for buying deebeedees in banawe. but come on, let's be practical. when you watch a movie at home, you don't have to pay for tickets, popcorn and drinks. you can pause the movie when you need to pee, rewind if you don't get the scene or lines and you can lie down comfortably in your bed. and the cost is only 35 bucks!

since i didn't get to watch no other woman, i bought a copy. unfortunately, i stuck it in the bf's dvd player in the car but wouldn't come out. he had to forcibly remove it and the dvd was no more. that's the only tagalog movie i bought and of course, eugene domingo's ang babae sa septic tank. the bf totally didn't get the whole point of the film so i watched it alone! = )

very unfortunate indeed

i had to travel again this week with the bf. it was supposed to be one of our usual trips and we expected to be home in two days' time. the night before we left, i knew there was a storm coming and the weather reporter said it was passing through mindanao and was leaving the country on friday. it was raining intermittently in the metropolis but it was not that hard. we left thursday morning and by nighttime, we were heading home. we have to take three boat rides starting from batangas to mindoro and finally to iloilo to get home and that meant about 24 hours of travel by sea and land.

the batangas trip was uneventful. we got to mindoro in good time and headed out to the next port. we missed the 2am trip and apparently the 4am was full so we were scheduled to take the next one. unfortunately, the 4am trip couldn't leave because the coast guard wouldn't allow it. the bf kept on grumbling because there were no heavy rains or strong winds. but still no boat left the port until 1am the next day. we were able to leave mindoro 7am on saturday. we were stranded for about 28 hours. it wasn't really much trouble since we stayed in a lodging house and had decent food. but the bf had business to attend to and i had to go somewhere as well. of course, we really didn't have much choice in the matter. we got to panay island at 11am and travelled off to iloilo. i had a friend who usually booked for us on the last boat trip. she said no boats left since 8am since the coast guard didn't allow any trips. i asked her to please just have our numbers listed. when we got there at about 3pm, the port was full-really full. there were a lot of 6 and 10-wheeler trucks, private vehicles, motorcycles, people and even animals. i thought we were going to be stranded yet again! the trips resumed at about 6pm and luckily, i saw a coast guard officer who knew me. we were given a spot on the boat that left at 8pm. the bf and i knew that we had to act if we wanted to get home. if we waited for our turn, we probably wouldn't be home up to now.

my mom texted saturday morning that our city was flooded and the houses of my sister and uncles were flooded as well. a lot of people died including children, houses were destroyed, boats almost capsized and it was a total disaster. our place is usually spared by calamities but apparently, the rains were just terrible in the mountains and since the were no trees to hold the water, it just came thundering down to the city. my mom even asked us not to travel at night because she feared for our safety. we were also going to pass by a town with a collapsed bridge and she thought there was no way out. we managed because kind souls showed us the detour and we got home at 3am on sunday. the bf and i saw a bit of the effects and he said it was one hell of a storm. in one town, buses and hauling trucks were stranded since they couldn't cross the bridge.

i saw a lot of the pictures posted on facebook and yes, it was devastating. a lot of families lost a great deal. their property can still be replaced but lives lost can never be brought back. it's a sad state of affairs and i hope that the victims will be able to get through this tragedy. the bf and i went to the downtown area this morning but things have gone to normal. luckily, the sun is out. some places have yet to have their power restored. other than that, it's business as usual.

what's inside?

these are the stuff found in my purse. here in the philippines, we call it a bag. but my uncle tells me otherwise. he calls it a purse or a pocketbook. whatever!

the first photo holds my essentials. i obviously don't bring any make-up. that goody brush is really nice. it can make your hair shiny and smooth. my former officemate even wanted it for himself-- he is a man!

yes, i always bring a book anywhere i go. that book cost me only Php 37 at book sale and i haven't finished reading that up to now. it's quite a thick paperback with an interesting storyline. the blue envelope holds everything from airline tickets, pens, money and bills. i only bring my wallet because it has my driver's license. that coin purse cost me only Php 9 bucks at the local department store and it's been around for four years already. i drive a toyota and my bf gave that matching key chain. he had to tell me he placed a new key chain because i failed to notice it. hahaha!

the third photo has a pouch that holds my rosary and medicines. that black cellphone is actually useless. the bf and i bought extra cellphones (for business supposedly)but he has lost his a long time ago. my second cellphone is now only used for playing games-it doesn't even have prepaid load.

i am not the person who brings her house in her bag, as you can see. i used to have a bag organizer but i no longer use it. i am a just simple girl with simple needs.

of usb, drug rehabs and ginkgo biloba

my work varies from day to day. in six month's time, i have written about anything and everything from selling pashmina shawls, bikinis, organic coffee, unsecured loans, investment firms plus those i mentioned in the title. i have put a positive spin on scammers and described plumbing torches, sinks and cherry pickers. and if it wasn't for this job, i wouldn't know that a cherry picker is not a person. hahaha!

when i take time off work, i feel liberated but i also miss it. there are times when i don't have work during the weekend. and it sometimes feels weird. i am so used to checking my email and see the day's task waiting for me. my new work has brought me fulfillment and has added to my knowledge. i have become quite skilled at online research although when the topic is quite difficult, i get frustrated.

i have am now a quick writer. i can finish my task in three to four hours only. it used to take me at least eight hours to accomplish. basically, i am glad i found this job. it's interesting everyday and pays quite well.

what you don't know...

there have been times when i go out without telling the bf. i don't like telling him that i go out at night with friends or family sometimes because he gets insecure or praning. he always asks if i'm going home already, what i am doing etc. in the middle of the event. so to avoid getting pissed at him for being such a spoilsport, i keep mum about my activities.

it has worked several times already so last night when we were going out of town to look at the giant christmas tree, i didn't tell him. the travel was uneventful. it was kind of fun but i don't think it was worth the trip. i wasn't driving, my brother was. on the way home, we had to pass some really bad roads that were under construction. 20 minutes into the drive home, we almost got into an accident. as in a major accident that could have totally injured us all. i was so pi**ed! my brother was driving in the middle of the road and only half of it was done. at least the damage was just a torn wheel and a little scratch. my sister asked if i could call the bf to rescue us. and i said, no way. he'll basically slaughter me if he knew i let my brother drive and for going out of town without telling him. we ended up leaving the car there and took the bus home. we had to go back in the morning to have the wheel replaced.

up to now, the bf doesn't know anything. and i know that what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

massage me

i absolutely love getting a body massage. it's one of the things that make me happy. i love swedish massage more than the thai massage. everytime after we travel, i go to the spa and get one. but there was a time when i stopped because i thought i was spoiling my body too much.

now, a masseuse comes to the house and she gives me a two-hour massage from head to toe. it's divine and it relaxes me completely. i prefer having it at home than outside because it's right in my bed and there is no need to drive home afterwards. the bf has his own masseur but he's not into it as much as me. besides, he calls on me to massage him anyway. i am his personal masseuse. and he doesn't have to pay. he says i know how to massage like a pro. actually, i'm dom't. but i massage him the way i want to be massaged. (although i don't massage his back or his shoulders) he loves my hand and foot massage. especially after our accident-he says i made him better.

today, the masseuse is coming. in a couple of hours, i will be lying down and relaxing. the pains and aches of the past days will soon be a distant memory.

baby number two

the bf and i usually talk about having another child. or rather he talks. i used to like the idea of having a little girl. so she can wear pink and dresses and i'd braid her hair etc. but as time goes by, i'm kinda hesitating. i don't know why but i don't think i'm ready yet. when i was younger i wanted to have four children: two boys and two girls. now, i'm fine with just one little boy.

the bf says one kid is just too lonely. he says the baby needs a sibling. and i'm like sure, but you have to guarantee that it's going to be a girl. hahaha! i remember seeing my sister's friend at the airport a couple of years ago. i asked her how many kids she has. her reply was this: just one. i don't need to add any more. and i'm like really??? and then i realized that yes, maybe it's better to have just one kid. even my sister does not think about adding another child of her own.

i'm really not open to getting pregnant at this time, i'll wait till the baby turns five or six and when i have a house of my own before i consider conceiving again. i know how to stall the bf anyway. if i do get pregnant before then, well i'll take it. a child is a blessing. and i have missed the smell of newborns. but if i can have my way, i'll stick to one- at this point in time.

almost done....

i took the time to multitask today. i took the baby out and went christmas gift shopping. i just got back from travelling with the bf and i wanted to make up by taking the baby out. he likes toy window shopping so i brought him with me while i brought presents. i like bringing the baby to the toy department because he's content with just watching and trying out toys. he does not insist on getting a toy for himself but waits if i am willing to get him one. usually, i just get an inexpensive toy and he's fine with it.

while the baby was browsing the aisles, i was able to buy gifts for the kids. i have yet to get 3 or 4 more but that will have to wait. at least i'm more than halfway done. for my immediate family, i have yet to buy, as well as for our household help. i will just wait for my mom for that.

i asked the bf what he wanted from me and said i didn't have to bother. but i will get him something for sure. anyway, he can wait. hahaha! i am still wondering what to give my dad. i have difficulty choosing a gift for him. if i can't think of something, well, cash will have to do.

because i was in the mood, i also finished wrapping the gifts i bought. it's too bad my mom didn't put up a tree this year. she was too lazy to do so and now it's too late. i ended up putting the gifts on the dining table. = )

flawless

when i was about 12 years old, i wanted to use astringents. i equated growing up with being able to put on make up, using astringents and shaving my legs. but my mom told me not to use it, so i didn't. she couldn't stop me from shaving my legs though. i still do it up to now and i totally regret it. as for the make up, i've gotten over that phase. i used to put on make up on weekends. i'd lock myself in my mom's bedroom and paint my face silly. now, i can hardly put on lip gloss. i find it totally unnecessary.

by nature, i am not flawless and i don't think i ever will be. but in fairness, my complexion is great. i don't have a beauty regimen although i am seriously contemplating it. i only use Dove or Pond's on my face. i exfoliate once a month (if i don't forget). other than that, nada. my friend actually commented on my blooming countenance which i accepted as a compliment.

i tried using Olay Total Effects that my aunt brought from Hong Kong. it made my face all red and itchy. so i ditched it after two applications. i really am glad my mom stopped me from using astringents before. not only does it save me from having to pay for facial whatnot but it also kept my face looking young and fresh.

daily essentials

by nature, i'm very simple. i sometimes forget to comb my hair and i never wear make-up. here's a list of the stuff i use daily or most of the time:

scents: Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden, Light Blue by Dolce and Gabbana, Sweat Pea by Bath and Body Works, Happy Heart by Clinique

lotions: Jergen's Ultra Healing, Johnson and Johnson's Baby Milk Lotion, Victoria Secret Mango and Goji Berry

make-up: none! i use my mom's lipstick sometimes though = )

soap: Dove, Ivory

shampoo: Rejoice Anti-Frizz, Head and Shoulders eucalytus scalp care

conditioner: Cream Silk Shine (the gold one!)

facial wash: Pond's, Dove soap

clothing brands: Levi's, Kamiseta, Guess, Nike, A&F, Bayo, Promod

sunglasses: Kenneth Cole, D&G, xoxo

bags: Guess, Longchamp, Nine West and a whole lot more

shoes: Janylin, Nike, Sanuk, Mendrez, Nine West, Alberto

sandals: Fitflops, Havaianas, Crocs

watches: Anne Klein, Guess, Tommy Hilfiger, D&G

accessories: not too fond of bling. i do wear real jewelry. my staples are rings and earrings. necklace and bracelets are for special occasions only.

my take on local showbiz

i don't watch television that much. my television is tuned to cartoon network most of the time. i only get to watch a bit of tv in the morning or late at night. but since i sleep early, i no longer get to watch the shows i like. but i am online most of the day so i get to read about the latest gossip locally and in Hollywood.

even before the kc-piolo break up, i would like to believe that piolo's being gay is public knowledge. i knew that so long ago and i thought their relationship was a publicity stunt. somehow, it was an accident waiting to happen. but i didn't count on kc doing a "kris aquino tell-all". we were in boracay when the interview aired and i was listening with half an ear. what i missed on tv, i read in the Internet. my only question was who the third party was. it was supposedly "M". who turned out to be mark bautista. big deal! hahaha! honestly, can i tell kc to grow up? she's beautiful, rich and talented (i guess!) there's a better man out there who isn't gay and is willing to marry her. fine, at least she satisfied the chismosas in the Philippines through her interview but it was merely a confirmation of what they know already.

as for the mo twister and rhian ramos abortion thing. can i just say pills or condom? i agree with topaz horizon completely. if you want to have sex, make sure you are protected to avoid any problems. apparently, the abortion was to protect her career but since it has gone public, her career is probably in tatters as i write this. whatever!

all i can say is that i'm glad i'm not an artista! i'm happy to lead a boring life. at least i won't be hounded by reporters asking for comments!

the boracay trip

i didn't get to write much about our boracay trip. it was my second time to visit boracay but it's the bf's first. the first time, i was with friends. it was fun then but i enjoyed more this time.

it is primarily because of the company. i always wanted to go to boracay with the bf. it was one of our plans that finally pushed through. we don't always have things in common. not in food, music or movies. but we both like travelling and visiting other places. we have been to luzon, visayas and mindanao together. by nature, i am a scaredy cat. i am afraid of heights. i am afraid of pain and getting hurt. but one of his dreams was to parasail. i wasn't that excited about it. but when we did it, it was one of the best experiences of my life. it was wonderful flying up in the sky.

i also got to do the reef walk. the bf went down for a minute but went back up right away. he couldn't handle the pressure on his ears. i managed it and even got to feed the fish. it was just lonely, being underwater all by myself-the diver didn't count for company!

we didn't take a sailboat ride or go island hopping. i was tired of sailing and i find it boring. = ) we were going to ride the flying fish but there was just two of us. they needed a minimum of three people and the bf didn't like the banana boat either. the jetski was much too expensive!

we spent a long time swimming instead. we only stopped when the bf noticed i was shivering and my fingers were all wrinkled.

we also got to watch the boracay sunset and a lot of beach babes parading in their swimsuits.

because of the fun we had, the bf wants to keep on going back. we're planning to go again soon and in summer we'll be going with the family.

*we stayed in station 2 near d'mall. it was not an expensive hotel but rather a cheap pension house. but it worked for us since it was airconditioned and definitely near the beach. we didn't spned much time in the room anyway!

the end of year

everybody is looking forward to the holidays. it means time for family, for gatherings, gift-giving and for pigging out. i have crossed only one name off my christmas list. not that i'm worried. i'm a whiz at last-minute shopping. after all, i am the cramming queen. i have mastered procrastination to an art. but what i am thinking right now is how my year went. after all, eleven months of 2011 has passed by and i wonder what i have done.

naturally, what stands out is that i quit my job. i did that in the middle of the year but it seems like forever. there are days when i regret quitting (like the cash gift and 13th month pay!) but in truth, i don't think i missed out much. i still make good money from my online job and i get to spend more time with the baby and the bf. i definitely am happy to get away from the gossip and rumormongers. but i sometimes miss the food at the office. other than that, i'm perfectly fine.

oh and this year, the bf and i had an accident. it was nothing major on my part, fortunately. but the bf was damaged. he did prove what a trouper he was. no matter how painful it was, he bore the pain. now the accident is a distant memory. in fact, he bikes faster than me today and i didn't break my shoulder bone.

other than that, it's been a good year over all. there were highs and lows, fights and smiles. i got to spend quality time with my family, travelled with the bf, bonded with my baby and had moments with my girlfriends. i will have fun during the holidays. i will not worry about money-or the lack of it, i will eat and exercise to make up for it and i will share what i can to those in need. the new year will come and go and life will go on as usual. what matters is that i have faith and believe that everything happens for a reason. a time will come when life gets challenging but it will also come to pass.

c'est la vie!

christmas, gifts and sharing

christmas is in the air. barely 25 days to go and it's the much anticipated holiday of the year. i am not looking forward to it this year. hahaha! as usual, i am broke and i need lots of moolah to buy presents. but then again, God moves in mysterious ways and i know that i will be able to find enough money to buy gifts for my family and godchildren.

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the bf is a lousy gift giver. pardon me, but it is true. he now gives me cash instead so i will be able to choose the gift i want. i'm glad to get money but i guess it's also nice to have a present to open. nevertheless, the bf does not want anything from me. but i do give him a gift every year. i give practical gifts like a belt or wallet etc. i tried giving him a shirt one time but it didn't fit him. hahaha! this year, i'll have to rack my brain yet again for a present for the bf. but i know i will find something before gift-giving time comes.

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i will have to unload my closet again and give away old clothes- we all do that every year. every christmas, people come to the house and my mom gives away rice, goods and old stuff for her constituents. my closet looks really empty but it's a nice feeling within. besides, its another excuse to buy clothes for the new year! since we all give away, there is something for everyone. men, women and for little boys. too bad there's no little girl in the family yet. i remember the time when i had just given birth, even my maternity clothes were not spared because a pregnant lady came and her clothes weren't fit for someone expecting.

**********
when the new year rolls in, i will go back to being broke again. hahaha! after christmas, we'll be going out of town for our annual holiday trip. oh well, money comes and money goes! besides, we should celebrate because life is short!

slice of paradise

the boracay trip was successful. it was one of the best days of my life. the boyfriend had the time of his life as well. he thought our parasailing time was too short. we plan to go back again next summer.

murphy's law

murphy's law says that if anything can go wrong, it can and will go wrong. or something to that effect.. =)

the bf and i are going to boracay this weekend. it's really just an overnight trip. but i have been looking forward to this for almost two years already. we were supposed to go june 2010. however the bf had a problem and he wanted to settle it first. it was finally over by september of this year but our schedules didn't allow it. until this weekend. although i am a bit hesitant again since i will attend a wedding on tuesday. i might look burned! but i have packed my bags and i am ready to go! let's just hope my luck holds out till sunday! and not let murphy's law ruin it!

mommies to be

i have three friends who are pregnant at this time. one was ahead of the pack, unfortunately, she had to have the pregnancy terminated due to complications. but three others followed her quickly enough.

Friend A is married. she's probably 3-4 months on the way. her husband cheated on her last year. but he was always a cheating s.o.b. even then. since she loves him, what can i say? i am actually kind of pissed at this but knowing she wants another baby, then whatever!

Friend B is single but because she got pregnant, she will marry the baby daddy this month. she isn't too keen about her pregnancy but i know she'll get the hang of it in time.

Friend C is single but has no plans of getting married. she's been with her bf for 10 to 11 years already and does not see the need to tie the knot.

just goes to show that it's different strokes for different folks! = )

oh baby!

we were at the mall today. it was lunchtime and we decided to eat in the food court. beside the food court is the toy section. while i was paying for our food, the baby pulled my arm because he wanted to look at toys. i had hotdog for him since he is picky about food.

Baby: Mommy come, let's play.

Me: eat your lunch first. no eat, no play

Baby: Give me the hotdog!

hahaha! and eat he did right there and then! afterwards, he got to play.

exercise to the max!

the bf is several years older than i. he is quite a hypochondriac and is constantly worried about his health and imagined illnesses. he easily gets tonsilitis, fever and minor illnesses. earlier this month, he decided to get a full blood workup. the result was a low HDL and high SGPT level. in short, he has low good cholesterol and a fatty liver. he was given medication only for the liver, had to lose weight and go on a diet. and of course, exercise!

by nature, i am lazy. but i have been encouraged by the bf to go walking and biking. we did that before but stopped. i was only too happy to do so. walking meant waking up really early while biking is literally a pain in the behind! however, in this recent attempt to be healthier, the bf asked me to do exercise regime with him. of course, being a devoted gf means i have to assent. ugh! it's too painful beyond words. i am so tired from walking in the morning and biking in the afternoon. i can tolerate the walking but not the biking. my bike sucks although that's not the point. i really hate biking, especially since we go uphill. it's just too much. i skipped both yesterday with a flimsy excuse but the truth is i was really exhausted. but it's just been a few days since i started. i am hoping and praying that next week won't be as excruciating as today.

got to go now, i still have to wake up early in the morning!

the sound of silence

i have realized that i am already grown up. hahaha! delayed reaction much? after all, i am 30! i noticed that i have grown a bit mature, become a bit responsible and more practical (especially about money!)

part of that "growing up thing" is my no longer raring for a fight. i used to pick a lot of battles with a lot of people. i would fight with my mom, my sister and the bf. i easily get set off by a wrong word, a nuance or just about anything. in fact, according to the bf, i don't let anything pass. small or big, any matter can become a major battle with me. but not anymore! the bf and i no longer fight. i pick my battles now. instead of arguing with him when we fight, i choose to say a few well-meaning lines and shut up. he shuts up as well and that is because i ignore whatever he says.

one time, on a travel, we were discussing something and he got insulted or hurt by something i said. he started ranting and talking with passion. what i did was to say a few words and slept. i didn't talk to him again after that. since it was nighttime, i was actually able to sleep straight. he talked to me when i awoke. that was it. we were friends again. there was no need for an apology because i stood by what i said. i don't know about him. haha!

growing up does have its advantages. aside from no longer fighting, i also try to avoid stressful circumstances. i protect myself from hurt and pain and focus on being happy and healthy. and it's working! i am quite content and peaceful most of the time.

baby blues

the baby has grown up so fast that i can hardly stand it. before when i travel with his dad, he hardly talks on the phone when i call. the last time, he said he was okay and he was playing with his cousin. he even said "come home, mommy". he can talk in straight sentences and understands when i get irritated. he tell me "you're angry". i cannot help but smile or laugh.

he knows that when i sit in front of the computer that means i am working. but sometimes, when he gets bored, he comes to me and says "mommy, stop working. angry birds." that means he wants me to play angry birds. of course, i indulge his desires and play for ten minutes or so.

my only problem is that he hates taking baths now. every morning is a struggle to get him to shower. he cries and insists on going out of the bathroom. baths were supposed to be at 8 am, and now its getting pushed later and later. he used to take baths in the morning and at night. but now he asks his yaya to just wipe him at night. the yaya who is a sucker, grants his wish.

nevertheless, i'm always thankful for my child. everyday i thank the Lord for giving me the chance to be a mother and to have a son to call my own.

a series of unfortunate events

last 11-11-11, the bf and i travelled. we had somebody with us for the first time. we were due home on saturday night or at least early sunday morning. i was really excited to get home early to watch the pacquiao-marquez fight live. we were going to watch it live at home (pay per view). unfortunately, time and circumstance did not cooperate with me at all.

we were on schedule until 7pm friday night when one of our vehicles wouldn't start. the bf called for a mechanic and we had go meet up all the way to balintawak. we were in the banawe area so we took the a. bonifacio avenue route. traffic was horrible and it took us almost an hour and a half to travel. it took about 2 hours to get the vehicle fixed. the bf was already complaining that he was hungry. we looked for a place to eat nearby but since he was watching his diet (cholesterol and uric acid levels are high) he wanted to eat at reyes barbecue. we were going to pass by one along magallanes so he decided to wait till then. unfortunately, traffic was really bad again. when we got to magallanes, the restaurant was closed already. ugh! we ended up eating at jollibee. hahaha!

travel was smoother after we ate until we got stranded in mindoro. then on the way to iloilo, our vehicle was having trouble as well. we had to wait in the morning to get it fixed. by then, i had lost all hope of ever watching the fight. i was resigned to watching it on free tv. but when we got home, they were all saying the fight was lousy. i did get to watch about 4 rounds and indeed it was boring. i decided to sleep instead.

all in all, it was a really unlucky trip. and it was the longest of out travels ever and the bf decided never to bring anyone along next time! = ) besides, we're planning to stop over in boracay the next time anyway.

busy week

i have yet to write a post because i am too busy with work. there are too many tasks to do and i have been caught up with playing angry birds and farm. i will be travelling with the bf tomorrow so i will have to write in the next few days or so.

ciao!

nude pumps

photo by www.shefinds.com

i was invited to a classmate's wedding last august. because i don't like buying formal clothes off the rack, i often have one made. and i did for this one. i chose a navy blue color because i was feeling fat at that time and the color was dark enough. black will not do for a wedding in this country, or in our place for that matter.

i was supposed to go with my two girlfriends but they weren't going at the last minute. i wasn't too keen on going by myself. so i didn't get new shoes to match my dress. i was thinking of pairing it with nude pumps. i was searching in the mall for the right pair of shoes. but i just couldn't find it. so wore an old dress to the wedding. i only went to the church and went home afterwards.

this month, i have another wedding to attend to. and i'm planning to wear the dress i didn't get to wear. during my family's out of town trip, nude pumps was number one on my agenda. unfortunately, the only pumps i could find were sky high. i don't think the shoes now are made for walking! so i didn't get my nude pumps. i'm the kind of shopper who'll buy right away if i find the right merchandise. apparently, i haven't found the right pair yet.

*edit: i found the right pumps at a local boutique. it's made by janilyn and totally fit me. but at Php2,300, i wasn't willing to shell out that much for a pair of shoes i'll probably wear twice a year. hahaha! i decided to pair my dress with a pair of red patent wedges. = )

movie reviews?!@##

i don't often watch a lot of movies these days. when i do, i choose to watch those i'm sure are fun and worth watching. the last movie i watched in a theater was harry potter's last movie. i watched it with my sister and my mom, who by the way just slept and snored throughout the whole movie. the bf isn't too fond of moviewatching, especially romantic comedies which i favor. he's more of a television guy.

i have several dvds that i wasn't able to watch yet. luckily, i was also on break from work this weekend so i had the time.

• i don't know how she does it (starring sarah jessica parker) i'm not sure if this is out but i got a pirated dvd copy @ banawe. hehe... = ) it was okay i guess. predictable at best, but it had it's moments. after watching so many movies and reading too many books, i kind of know how a certain plot/storyline goes. and i almost never miss!

• horrible bosses (jennifer aniston, jason bateman etc) i had read a review on this movie but i still watched it anyway. honestly, i got really sleepy during the first 30 minutes. and i did pause the movie to sleep. the latter part was a bit better and still predictable (as usual!) but at least it worked out for the employees. i didn't know jennifer aniston could act like such a slut!

• praybayt benjamin (starring vice ganda, derek ramsay, jimmy santos) i watched this movie at the theater with my mom and sister. my sister said the movie was hilarious and my mom wanted to watch so we did last night. it had the same filipino movie formula. but in fairness, the lines were funny and it was refreshing. i had quite a few laughs and at least, there were no picnic or beach scenes. hahaha! plus, for a gay person, vice ganda dressed decently at least. and vandolph was quite convincing at playing a crazy guy.

the movies i have yet to watch are one day with anne hathaway (unfortunately my copy is in german or something like it) and crazy stupid love (which won't play at all) oh! and i want to watch puss 'n boots too!

lazy sunday

today is yet another lazy sunday. for me that means:

• sleeping late
• eating anything and everything
• movies
• computer games
• relaxing
• sleeping yet again
• reading
• reading
• long showers
• family bonding
  

and i love it! hope you're having a wonderful sunday too!

family matters

the bf is planning to take his father to visit his mother (who left their home) next week. his father has been regularly asking/begging the bf to accompany him on the trip. his father plans to convince his mother to come home (i've written an earlier post on this). since it'll be a family affair, i've decided not to go with them. i don't want to be involved in that especially since it'll be messy, i think!

since he'll be away for a couple of days, he wants me to go out of town as well. i do not really want to since i am broke. (hahaha! that's not news) you see, when i travel with the bf, i don't worry about money. he pays for everything! so if i go on my own, then i will have to pay for it myself! boo! i told him that and he says ok, i'll give you some. yippee! so i just might bring along the baby and my parents and go.

he says i'll be lonely without him so i should have fun. the truth is, i won't really be lonely! but don't tell him that.

driving lessons

i haven't had decent sleep in two nights and i'm still awake right now. i was travelling with the bf a couple of days ago and this always happens. anyway, i just want to share what happened last night on our way home.

the bf and i were in separate vehicles. he drove the pick up while i drove the utility vehicle we purchased for my uncle. we were about four hours away from home and i had to drive a stick shift. now, i'm an automatic kind of girl. i may have learned to drive a vehicle using the stick but i've been driving a/t for a while now. since it was only the two of us on this trip, i had no choice. the bf wanted me to drive his truck but i didn't want anything to happen to it. hahaha!

about two hours away of traveling, we were passing the area where there are threats of NPAs and dangerous bandits. i am usually scared when we pass here, especially at night. the place is actually in and around the mountain with twisting and curving roads. but since i was driving, i had no choice. i was just mastering the art of driving a stick and hoping not to get in any accident. the bf led and i was behind. i saw a man lying in the middle of the road, looking up at me. beside him was like a pool of blood. we encountered two trucks going in the opposite direction and i don't know if they were the culprits. the bf didn't stop so i didn't stop as well. but up to now, i can still envision the man's face staring at me, as if seeking help. luckily, i saw a group of four people walking towards him so i was relieved knowing someone could attend to him.

we didn't stop because we were completely heartless. it's just the area was not safe. it could have been a trap. that happened to us a few years back. the road was actually covered with rocks and tree branches. if they were waiting for us to stop then, too bad. the bf just proceeded, hitting the obstruction. i believe it's better to be safe than sorry, given the history.

we stopped about 20 kilometers from where the man was and the bf teased me that i was the one who hit him. i said of course not, but i admit i was shaken up. oh well, chalk it up to experience yet again.

parents' stuff

i have always had a normal family life. my father was away until i was in college. he had to work away from home, first overseas then around the country. it was a normal set-up for us not to have a father growing up. (most of my cousin's fathers were all way, working as well) so i grew up with a mother to look up to. it was always mama who was around. the father was just a visiting figure who came to stay for about a couple of weeks to a month. he wasn't the disciplinarian. he let us get away with stuff we wanted to do etc. i remember taking trips, going out and having fun when my father came home. he only retired when we were all grown up. i was about to finish my degree and my brother was starting his first year in college. it was like getting-to-know father again.

now that we are older, our family is closer than ever. we enjoy weekends, out of town trips etc. even our family meals are such fun (compared to the adolescent years of course) the bf, on the other hand, feels jealous of this. it's because he is not close to his family. when i think of it, he got influenced by our family. only recently has he been visiting his folks and bonding with his siblings. he used to see them only during special occasions like fiestas, Christmas or birthdays. and often its his parents who visit.

the bf's parents often quarrel. almost every year since i got together with the bf, his mom runs away from home. its because his father physically and verbally abuses her. but his father is so repentant afterwards that his mother always goes back home. this year, it happened again. and so his mom is in the metropolis to stay with the bf's brother. she vehemently says she is never going back home and is thinking of starting her own business there. his father has begged the bf to take him to his mother the next time he travels. he has said he will take him, probably next month.

i have never seen my father hit my mother. before, my parents would only fight inside their bedroom. there would be no raised voices or violence. now, as they are older, they only give each other the cold treatment. and they make up within a couple of days. for me, the trouble with the bf's parents is an alien concept. i know that the bf is not like his father for a fact. i am not worried about that. but i think it's sad because they are already old people. they are supposed to love and care for each other more. and i feel for the bf who is feeling torn. he has told his father not to do it again or he will personally take his mother away. he didn't have to do it this time, his mom ran away on her own. and according to her, she is never going back-ever! and to think that the fight was not even about a major issue. just the typical husband and wife argument that led to violence.

this is still a developing story, there is no conclusion yet. i think his father will really beg for his mother to come home. the only question is this: is his wife going to fall for it? i have a feeling the answer is no.

gimme a break!

it is a long weekend here in our place. friday was declared a province-wide holiday for the annual festival. i was exempted from the holiday. i still had work to submit but i had to drive the folks and the kiddies to watch the street parade. apparently, they do that every year. i was travelling with the bf last year so i didn't get to watch. now, it's my brother who's travelling, i had no choice but to go with them. anyway, i thought it was a complete waste of my time (sorry!) it started late, which is the norm-us being Filipinos after all. then the people crowded the streets giving very little space for the dancers.

saturday was another work day. ugh! i was looking forward to just relaxing but it wasn't meant to be. it would have been fine if my nephew wasn't around. his parents had a wedding to attend to and my folks were going out. that left me with two kids and two yayas. i was still finishing work at around 8pm since i started working late in the afternoon already. by the time i was doing the editing, i let my baby's yaya rest and took over. but you cannot expect peace when you show a computer to two toddlers. i took me almost an hour to edit and submit my work. by then, the baby was irritated and wanting to sleep. however, my nephew was not. he wanted to stay in our bedroom and play. he was always crying and was always hitting his yaya. i was getting fed up with him. i was already exhausted and he exacerbated it.

today, i woke early because the baby woke me up. it would have been fine until my nephew woke up and began his temper tantrums. i got so tired of his crap, i just stood up and left. i drove to the beach and let the sea breeze and the waves calm me down. i was able to catch the break i needed. when i got home, my nephew was still there but i didn't mind him or the baby. i took a shower instead and worked on a part-time task due tomorrow.

now, the nephew has gone home, the folks are out and the baby is asleep. since it's sunday, the bf is at his father's house (his mom ran away-i'll you why in a different post) to placate and console him. this is how i want my life to be. it doesn't matter if i don't go to exotic places and do exciting things. i am happier being alone anyway, doing absolutely nothing. = )

above the law

today started out just fine. i went out with the bf this morning to do errands. we bought stuff etc. we stopped by the ticket office for our next trip. i was talking with the workers while waiting for the ticket when the manager arrived. he told them a certain person has been shot in the next town and to turn on the radio. when i was done, i told the bf (he was waiting in the car) to turn on his radio as well. he knew the man and his son, apparently. so he told we me we were going to look at the crime scene.

when we got there, there were a lot of usoseros and usoseras. it was your typical filipino crime scene basically. i stayed in the car, i am scared of blood and death! the bf went to investigate. after about ten minutes he came back. he told me to go take a look! hello??? so went with him and squeezed past everyone making usyoso. in truth, i only saw the lower half of the body, i didn't dare looking at the upper half (luckily, the man was facing the ground) after that, i went back and stayed in the car until we left. the bf became one of the usoseros and reported whatever information he heard to me every so often.

this kind of killing is very rampant in our place. women and men are not spared from this brutal killings. the sad thing is, the murderers get away with it. there often no leads and no suspects at all. i am against guns, honestly. the bf has his own licensed gun that he carries in a bag. i tell him how much i dislike it but he argues its for protection. the thing is, the bf can have quite a temper when provoked although he hasn't lost control yet. i'm just hoping it won't happen.

but more importantly, i am a little worried something like that will happen to him. he is a businessman, after all. i don't say it out loud, i wait for him to do talk about it. luckily, the bf is always careful and we don't always go out at night.

no one should be above the law. i hope there will be justice for this man and for everyone else who were killed before him. may he rest in peace.

perfect timing

when the bf and i travel, we get plane tickets a week early to get cheaper seats. it has happened that we fly to the metropolis before, during or after a typhoon. one time, we flew to manila when storm signal number two was raised. my mom was more worried than me. we missed pedring by a day, we had already left when it hit. but ramon finally caught up with us. we were stranded for about 24 hours.

during that period, we checked into a travel lodge to sleep. since i don't live with the bf, it's sort of a new experience. i'm not used to having someone else in my bed. and having the bf was kinda weird, even if we have done this countless times through the years. =) my major problem is that i hate the cold. it was raining intermittenly so the outside temperature was low. but the bf felt very hot, so he turned up the airconditioning system full blast. unfortunately, the lodge's blanket was very thin. i hogged the blanket and turned my back on him. at about 5 am or so, i woke and saw him curled up. apparently, he was feeling extra cold already but couldn't share my blanket! hahaha! so we ended up just talking and watching television very early in the morning. we spent the entire day cooped up. we only went out to get something to eat.

being stranded does have its perks. it allows us more uninterrupted time together. however, i was worrying about the baby because he had cough and fever when i left. knowing he was with my parents comforted me, at least he in safe and loving hands. when i called home, he didn't even want to talk because he was busy playing.

our trips are planned perfectly and without fail, our plans often go awry. i just smile when he plots out itinerary because i know it won't get followed anyway. i guess there is no such thing as perfect timing, right?

baby talks now!

my baby is growing up to be very talkative. here are some his witty moments:

i was away for several days on a trip with the bf. so i called him on the phone because he had fever and was coughing when i left.

Me: Hi baby!
Baby: Yes
Me: What are you doing?
Baby: I'm playing
Me: Are you okay?
Baby: Yes
Me: What did you eat?
Baby: Cerelac, not Koko Krunch
Me: Do you miss mommy?
Baby: enough

*and he didn't talk to me anymore! the nerve!*

__________

i was driving the car and my uncle was with us. we were talking about something and the baby was just listening. when there was a lull in our conversation he asked: Mommy, what are you talking?

shopaholic-not!

before i became a mom, shopping and i were very close. really close! in a month, i would go home with a new pair of shoes, a couple of tops, a dress, purse etc. (i wasn't really much into accessories or bling. i loved real gold and white gold jewelry though )

my closet was always full, my shoes were always in style, i was always in style. i used to match my bag with my shoes! and somehow, i always found a perfect bag for the perfect shoe. but that was history. now, i hardly ever buy anything for myself. my last bag purchase was last May, i think. i finally got my Longchamp (for travel) this month. but only because my gff was selling at a discounted price, straight from the US.

every now and then i get enough money left over for a new blouse. but that's it. i am currently lusting over a pair of sandals but i find the price too steep. before, i wouldn't have batted an eyelash at the cost. but now, i cannot afford to waste that amount on something so trivial. i mean, yes my feet will surely look good in them, but that would mean an empty pocket for me afterwards.

maybe it's called growing up, maybe it's called being practical. but as of today, the material things no longer matter as much. i can do without the trappings of a luxurious or stylish life. and i have been managing that for a few years already.

i would much rather see my baby dressed up to the nines more than me. one time, we were going out and i was just wearing shorts and a blouse with fitflops. he actually asked me this: mommy, where's your wow? for him, i wasn't dressed up at all!

something missing

i grew up thinking i was nobody special. i was not pretty enough, i wasn't that intelligent, i could sing decently, i couldn't dance and i was not artistic.

before, it didn't bother me so much. i was after all simply average. but deep down, i thought something was missing in me. others could sing very well, or be very artistic, could dance gracefully etc. i couldn't find something i was really good at! i always felt second best.

every so often, i analyze my life. and still that something missing in me hasn't been filled. but somehow, that no longer matters. despite what is lacking in my life, i am happy. my friends say i'm pretty enough, the bf finds me beautiful. i find i am good at what i do, people admire my writing talent. i find it mediocre at best, but hey! it's still writing. and besides, God made me. i may not be perfect, but what i have came from Him. and for that alone, i am thankful. everything happens for a reason. and what i have or lack of it has a reason as well.

and besides, now that i have the baby, i feel complete!

hodgepodge

last week, the bf and i travelled in the midst of yet another typhoon. but as always, we were lucky to have gone to manila after the storm has passed. while we did see some flooding in bulacan, it worsened after we went home. it's just sad to know some friends are still suffering up to now. the bf couldn't contact them anymore. i just hope they're good and well. one of bf's acquaintance has his house near the water and apparently, the water is up to neck now. God bless us all.

****
it's a lazy sunday and it's my day-off from the bf! hahaha! when i think of it, i feel like a maid. but really, it's our day to just laze around. i haven't even showered yet!

****
i'm taking a break from my friends. while i am close to them, a little distance won't hurt. one of my girlfriends is pregnant and she was the one who broke up with her husband. and while i have no right to think anything since it's not my life, still i'm kind of pissed at her. i mean, she kept on saying how she was over him etc. and now she's pregnant??? who else is she kidding but herself??? whatever!!!

****

i need to lose weight. slowly, i am regaining my old figure and i hate it! hahaha! the bf is fine with whatever size i am. (that's what they always say, right? ) but next month, i need to really watch what i shove in my mouth. i am back to drinking coke and eating sinful desserts. and it's absolutely delicious! it doesn't help that i no longer work so i really just keep on lying down and sleep and sit and eat!

****

the baby is growing fast! he's talkative and is eating well. the only problem is that he isn't potty trained yet. but i am not forcing him. in time, he'll figure it out. and i won't have to buy diapers anymore!

contentment

there's a fine line between being content and being lazy. sometimes people just say they are content and so live their lives just doing what they do. and they do it day in, day out every year. i almost did that as well. i had a good paying job, i didn't have to do really heavy work. but i quit. part of it was because i was no longer happy with the work environment. second, was that i needed to grow. i felt stuck in a rut in the office i used to go to.

now i am happy with my online job. it's exciting and always keeps me on my toes. i also do part-time work that is really in line with my profession. it's fulfilling knowing i work hard for my money. i guess having a lot of time to spend with the baby and the bf is a good thing too. before, when i worked 8-5, i felt so pressed for time. time was not enough and time flew so fast. now, i have time to enjoy breakfast, i can sleep in, i can choose to start working in the afternoon only etc. there is more time to spend with the people i love and do the things i enjoy.

if i wanted to be content, i should have stayed with my old job and grew old with my officemates. however, life pushes us to do something else. and i took push that in stride. i accepted the fact that maybe it was time to go and move on. and that choice has made my life better. in the next few years, maybe i'll choose another career. i'm open to that. i'd rather be excited and be on my toes, than have my feet dragging in the ground.

if you do what makes you happy, you won't have to work a day in your life. at least that's what they say...

long time...

it took me this long to write because september is the baby and my birth month. i was busy planning the baby's birthday and had to travel with the bf after. my birthday is just around the corner although i am not looking forward to that!

life seems just about right. so far i have no major problems, except for money (that isn't new!!).
so i am quite thankful to the Lord. the baby's getting healthier as well. he's taken to the new vitamins we introduced and he is eating decently, compared to before.

i got a new set of wheels! i'm just so glad to get rid of my old car. (thank you bf! hahaha!) although i did damage it a bit. luckily, the glass wasn't broken so it'll not be as expensive to repair. (sigh of relief!) it's my birthday present from the bf although i did contribute a bit. a teeny tiny bit, but i did contribute! come to think of it, i only wanted an iPhone!

my ex-bf wanted to add me as friend in facebook. i ignored it. he can think what he wants but we are not friends! it's not because i have feelings for him. it's just that i haven't forgiven him totally. a part of me still hates him for the dastardly brutal things he did to me. i must admit, part of it was my fault for letting him do it to me. but in a way, he took advantage of me. and for that i cannot forgive him. we were together for a long time and sometimes when think of it, i get mad. i have moved on. but the ex-bf and i will probably not be friends anymore, at least for me anyway.

i'm going to be 30 soon. ouch! that's quite a painful admission. but one of my girlfriends said that if you are at an age ending 9, its unlucky. when the bf and i looked back, it was kind of unlucky for me too. so i am ready to say goodbye to being 29!! although the bf teases me of being old. i simply retort, you are older so who are you to say that??

i'm looking forward to christmas! even if i won't get any present from santa this year! i almost never do! that's okay... i've been blessed and am continually blessed. what more can i ask for?

baby talk 2

Baby handed me a piece of his biscuit.

Baby: Here Mommy, eat.
Me: Thank you Baby

Because I was busy playing with my cellphone, I didn't eat the biscuit.

Baby: Eat now Mommy.
Me: Ok.

So I popped the biscuit in my mouth.

Baby: Very good!

*******

I have a huge zit on my face! It's smack in the middle and it's really red. Baby keeps on looking at is and says I have "yayay". One night, he looked at it and said this:

Baby: Mommy, get medicine.

So I got the bottle and handed it to him. He opened it and dropped some liquid in his finger. Then he applied it to my face. I was speechless!

Baby: Finished.

baby talk

the baby is growing up faster than i thought he would. he can talk in straight sentences already. i'm amazed to have a smart son and i know i didn't exactly do much (just my genes of course!)

every saturday, we are obliged or shall i say, required to go to my uncle's house for brunch. ever since we've had kids (my sis and i) we go to his house on saturdays without fail. yesterday was no exception. i didn't want the baby to eat his morning snack because then he won't have much of an appetite for brunch. but around 9 am or so, the ice cream man stopped at the house. the baby wanted to me to buy him a cone but i said no. i told the baby we had ice cream in the freezer, but he didn't want it. so he cried a bit but forgot about ice cream soon enough. after about 20 minutes, the other ice cream man was approaching. apparently, the baby heard him too and this is what he said:

Baby: Mommy, wisten (no L!) it's the ice cream man, he's coming back!
Me: Yes, he is.
Baby: Buy ice cream, Mommy.

naturally, i did. it's not as if i had a choice! = )
______________

the baby's birthday is coming up. the baby and my uncle were playing the bedroom (because it's really cold there!) when my unlce asked:

Uncle: Gwapo, did Mommy buy you a birthday present already?
Baby: Yes!
Uncle: What did she get you?
Baby: Toys!

oops! now that's a natural liar! i laughed when i heard it because i haven't gotten him anything yet. i don't even know if he understands the word present but he gave the right answer though!

the long weekend

i no longer have to go to the office so every day is like a weekend for me. i don't have to worry about mondays etc. it was a long weekend and i enjoyed it like i do every day of the week. the bf and i was on a trip yet again last week but we came home on a saturday. i didn't exactly have a packed weekend planned but i had places to go and people to see. i was able to go a friend's wedding but i skipped the reception since i was terribly sick during the trip home. (see previous post!) i did forego a saturday night of drinking and socializing for a good night's sleep.

on sunday, i lazed around in the afternoon plus a power nap. but i did wash the car in the morning and it felt great. i was waiting for both the bf and the masseuse to come around 5 pm but only the masseuse came. hahaha! actually the bf was getting a massage himself, thus he failed to show up. anyway, i enjoyed my two-hour body massage tremendously. i was supposed to meet a high school friend later in the night (again!) at one of the city's hotspots but i was too lazy to go. i just dropped by the place when i had to get baby's stuff and we talked for like a minute.

monday was beach day with the girlfriends. naturally, it meant a lot of yakking and gabbing and laughter. and did i mention tons of food? it was a lot of fun but i was exhausted after. maybe because it was too hot outside. i had work to submit but i told my boss i couldn't make the deadline. it was not just exhaustion really, my connection conked out yesterday and my prepaid internet wasn't working as well. luckily, he allowed me to submit today.

tuesday, i spent whole day with family. it was just like a usual sunday that we capped off with dinner out. now, i'm resting and looking forward to another week ahead.

seasick!

i travel at least twice a month by air, land and sea. with the bf. we've been doing it for 2 years or so. that means i should be able to handle motion sickness, right? and i do. i can manage travelling long distances without dizziness. although i have a complete medicine kit when i travel, i sometimes don't bring bonamine or dizzitab. i used to have one or two in my pouch but i wasn't able to replenish my stash last week (when we were travelling yet again)

we were about to board the boat, i saw the water looked choppy. (typhoon mina was still ravaging parts of the country at this time) but since i have gotten used to it, i wasn't too concerned. i was more focused on the fact that i was hungry. i haven't had breakfast and i told the bf i wanted to eat. but he wanted to wait until we were on the boat. i hate the food there so i was feeling grumpy. i had coffee and cake instead. about an hour into the trip, i was getting woozy.

in a few minutes, i had thrown up. we went out to get some air and i gave up all my breakfast in two minutes. in the four hours of travel, i had puked 3 times. i had nothing to give. the last heaving produced nothing but saliva. the bf doused me with liniment to make me feel better but it was useless. we were cooped up in the boat for another three hours because the coast guard sucks! i was just about to die from starvation and seasickness when they decided to let us out.

when we were on dry land (after about 8 hours of being in the water) the bf rushed to get me nourishment, a.k.a. food. but i was no longer interested. just stepping down from the vehicle to steady ground was hard. i was still really dazed. i gulped hot water fast. i was no longer interested in eating anything, but the bf forced me to eat. about an hour after we ate, i threw it all up again. the bf was kind of mad because i threw up in the car! but it's not as if i had a choice. i was really sick. i decided not to take in anything after that. no water, nothing. i had quickly purchased bonamine at the drugstore and i took another one again-without water. my body calmed down a bit after an hour of napping. when i awoke, i was rested but hungry. and my lips were really chapped, it hurt a lot.

after about 7 hours, the bf wanted to eat yet again. but i declined. i had hot chocolate and some soup while he had dinner. when we got home, i drank another cup of hot chocolate and some sticky rice (there was some in the kitchen!) then i went off to bed.

when i awoke, i was feeling much better although my stomach was still weird. i had a beef taco for lunch (which is bad, now that i think of it) i told my sis about it and she said noodles can help in rehydration. so i had about half a serving of noodles before i went to my college friend's wedding. i passed up on the reception dinner. i didn't want to upset my stomach again. i had soup instead. now my system's slowly going back to normal. thank God!

how to deal???

i'm a single mom, more or less. i am responsible for my baby's everything. sure there's the bf but he's someone who just smiles and plays with the baby. he only says don't spoil him. the baby's health, habits and manners are my concern.

i must admit i am a having a hard time dealing with this stage in the baby's development. he still isn't potty trained, he doesn't eat healthy and much and he's a pain in the you-know-what! probably because he knows he can get pretty much everything he wants. just today, he didn't sleep the entire afternoon. he just played and sang and laughed the time away. naturally, if you don't sleep, you get hungry. so he ate a lot before finally drifting off to sleep at 7pm.

but more than the sleeping habits, its more or less everything. he's at the terrible stage. and terrible it is. he does not eat anything other than hotdogs, chicken and luncheon meat and noodles. he always puts his hand in his mouth and forgets to say please.

the only consolation i get is that he is smart. he can already count to ten and identify all the letters of the alphabet. well, he calls the letter "S" "F" but that's okay i guess. he can also sing several songs already. including Do a deer (its really do the deer!).

dealing with a child has never been harder. i am at a loss sometimes, and since i stay at home, i can see how he is the whole day. and there are times when i don't like it. imagine, he gets mad at me if because he does not hear the sound of the airconditioning system! but since he is my own, i love him with all my heart. i only hope he'll be a better child in the future.

this week

i had written a quite emotional entry this week. i don't know if it was fortunate or unfortunate, but it didn't get posted.

anyway, this week is not the best i had so far. it started off on the wrong foot. i had a fight with the bf sunday night. but it's not such a good fight because the bf never wants to fight. hahaha! i got mad, of course. but since he's at fault, he didn't want to prolong it. naturally, i didn't stop until he got tired tired of my nagging. anyway, it's over. he said sorry. i forgave but i will never forget.

it's still thurday, the week is almost over but my boss asked me to work on saturday. ugh! oh well, if i didn't pity him, i'd say no. the thing is, i often skip two to three days of work to travel with the bf so it's the least i can do.

but i did realize something, i am getting fat! hahaha! since i no longer work at the office, i'm at home most of the time. i don't do anything much. just sit, lie in bed or go out. i realized my tummy was growing big, and it's not pre-menstrual bloating! so after dinner tonight, i didn't sit until after one hour. i had a roommate before who was quite big. but she lost weight by dieting and not sitting for thirty minutes after every meal. i'm going to do that now, the diet part i'm not so sure though.

thank God, tomorrow is friday. not that i have definite plans. the bf and i were thinking of going to a concert here- or not really. i could just finish up dvd i started to watch last week. or watch the movie i downloaded. i'm fine either way.

i know that times can be good and bad. but i try to keep it all in stride. i remain a happy and contented person because i have a strong faith and i know good things come to those who wait.

mommy basics

the baby's nanny went home today. since i no longer go to the office, i took care of him the whole day. it was fun, since the baby is a bit older. it was easier compared to before. my only problem was in getting him to eat. he is very picky with food and i am always worried he's too skinny. but i really do not have much choice, the best i can do is buy food that he likes. the baby is still spoon-fed. he can eat a bit on his own, but to make it easier on me, i'd rather feed him. this morning, i didn't give him his milk because he said no. by 11, he just said "mommy, i'm hungry". ha! imagine that! so i gave him rice and hotdogs and a glass of milk after. then it was time for his afternoon nap.

after sleeping, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. yes, he was grumpy. but after a few minutes he recovered. he watched a bit of tv, ate cookies then i took him outside to run around. i forget it was almost dinnertime until mom called me to feed him. i prepared his food and fed him while watching tv. again, easier on both of us (even if his pediatrician warned me never to let him eat while watching tv!) i have a feeling i'll keep on feeding him rather than his yaya because he ate so much more than he usually does. it's probably because i am much more stricter than the yaya.

this will go on for a couple of days until she returns. so for now, i am a full-time mother. and it's great!

the burger hunt

the bf and i usually spend sundays apart. he often visits his parents on that day and i just laze around the house doing nothing. it's great. it gives us a chance to miss each other after being together most of the week. i've gotten used to it. although, sometimes he does visit me at home.

so today is another one of those sundays. it rained this morning and it was a perfect time to simply stay in bed and do nothing. i did wake up early since i slept early last night. i didn't want to oversleep (it would mean sleeping late tonight). i didn't take a shower too-not that i stink. hahaha!

i don't usually eat snacks in the morning so i was looking forward to lunch. unfortunately, mom didn't cook because it was raining and she too got lazy. she ordered lechon from our neighbor and that's what she served. don't get me wrong, i like lechon but i only like the crispy skin. so if i had to make a meal out of rice and lechon skin, no thank you. so i didn't eat lunch. i decided to eat out. in my mind, i was thinking of the grilled burgers at one of the restaurants in the city. when i got there, surprise! it was closed. so i went on to another cafe but they didn't have burgers. i drove around looking for an open restaurant that served the burgers i wanted. i just couldn't eat anywhere. it took me about 30 minutes and 5 restaurants later until i gave up. i ended up eating at the food court of a local mall. it wasn't what i had in mind but it had to do.

the burger was not i imagined. but it was good enough. i did enjoy getting stuff for the baby's upcoming birthday and looking around the toys department. i didn't bother window shopping for clothes. i had no energy nor the budget right now. hahaha! instead, i went down to the supermarket for baby's food requirements for the week. then i headed for home.

thinking about my day, i had fun. i may have been alone but i enjoyed it. come to think of it, i'll probably do it again next week.