the long weekend

i no longer have to go to the office so every day is like a weekend for me. i don't have to worry about mondays etc. it was a long weekend and i enjoyed it like i do every day of the week. the bf and i was on a trip yet again last week but we came home on a saturday. i didn't exactly have a packed weekend planned but i had places to go and people to see. i was able to go a friend's wedding but i skipped the reception since i was terribly sick during the trip home. (see previous post!) i did forego a saturday night of drinking and socializing for a good night's sleep.

on sunday, i lazed around in the afternoon plus a power nap. but i did wash the car in the morning and it felt great. i was waiting for both the bf and the masseuse to come around 5 pm but only the masseuse came. hahaha! actually the bf was getting a massage himself, thus he failed to show up. anyway, i enjoyed my two-hour body massage tremendously. i was supposed to meet a high school friend later in the night (again!) at one of the city's hotspots but i was too lazy to go. i just dropped by the place when i had to get baby's stuff and we talked for like a minute.

monday was beach day with the girlfriends. naturally, it meant a lot of yakking and gabbing and laughter. and did i mention tons of food? it was a lot of fun but i was exhausted after. maybe because it was too hot outside. i had work to submit but i told my boss i couldn't make the deadline. it was not just exhaustion really, my connection conked out yesterday and my prepaid internet wasn't working as well. luckily, he allowed me to submit today.

tuesday, i spent whole day with family. it was just like a usual sunday that we capped off with dinner out. now, i'm resting and looking forward to another week ahead.

seasick!

i travel at least twice a month by air, land and sea. with the bf. we've been doing it for 2 years or so. that means i should be able to handle motion sickness, right? and i do. i can manage travelling long distances without dizziness. although i have a complete medicine kit when i travel, i sometimes don't bring bonamine or dizzitab. i used to have one or two in my pouch but i wasn't able to replenish my stash last week (when we were travelling yet again)

we were about to board the boat, i saw the water looked choppy. (typhoon mina was still ravaging parts of the country at this time) but since i have gotten used to it, i wasn't too concerned. i was more focused on the fact that i was hungry. i haven't had breakfast and i told the bf i wanted to eat. but he wanted to wait until we were on the boat. i hate the food there so i was feeling grumpy. i had coffee and cake instead. about an hour into the trip, i was getting woozy.

in a few minutes, i had thrown up. we went out to get some air and i gave up all my breakfast in two minutes. in the four hours of travel, i had puked 3 times. i had nothing to give. the last heaving produced nothing but saliva. the bf doused me with liniment to make me feel better but it was useless. we were cooped up in the boat for another three hours because the coast guard sucks! i was just about to die from starvation and seasickness when they decided to let us out.

when we were on dry land (after about 8 hours of being in the water) the bf rushed to get me nourishment, a.k.a. food. but i was no longer interested. just stepping down from the vehicle to steady ground was hard. i was still really dazed. i gulped hot water fast. i was no longer interested in eating anything, but the bf forced me to eat. about an hour after we ate, i threw it all up again. the bf was kind of mad because i threw up in the car! but it's not as if i had a choice. i was really sick. i decided not to take in anything after that. no water, nothing. i had quickly purchased bonamine at the drugstore and i took another one again-without water. my body calmed down a bit after an hour of napping. when i awoke, i was rested but hungry. and my lips were really chapped, it hurt a lot.

after about 7 hours, the bf wanted to eat yet again. but i declined. i had hot chocolate and some soup while he had dinner. when we got home, i drank another cup of hot chocolate and some sticky rice (there was some in the kitchen!) then i went off to bed.

when i awoke, i was feeling much better although my stomach was still weird. i had a beef taco for lunch (which is bad, now that i think of it) i told my sis about it and she said noodles can help in rehydration. so i had about half a serving of noodles before i went to my college friend's wedding. i passed up on the reception dinner. i didn't want to upset my stomach again. i had soup instead. now my system's slowly going back to normal. thank God!

how to deal???

i'm a single mom, more or less. i am responsible for my baby's everything. sure there's the bf but he's someone who just smiles and plays with the baby. he only says don't spoil him. the baby's health, habits and manners are my concern.

i must admit i am a having a hard time dealing with this stage in the baby's development. he still isn't potty trained, he doesn't eat healthy and much and he's a pain in the you-know-what! probably because he knows he can get pretty much everything he wants. just today, he didn't sleep the entire afternoon. he just played and sang and laughed the time away. naturally, if you don't sleep, you get hungry. so he ate a lot before finally drifting off to sleep at 7pm.

but more than the sleeping habits, its more or less everything. he's at the terrible stage. and terrible it is. he does not eat anything other than hotdogs, chicken and luncheon meat and noodles. he always puts his hand in his mouth and forgets to say please.

the only consolation i get is that he is smart. he can already count to ten and identify all the letters of the alphabet. well, he calls the letter "S" "F" but that's okay i guess. he can also sing several songs already. including Do a deer (its really do the deer!).

dealing with a child has never been harder. i am at a loss sometimes, and since i stay at home, i can see how he is the whole day. and there are times when i don't like it. imagine, he gets mad at me if because he does not hear the sound of the airconditioning system! but since he is my own, i love him with all my heart. i only hope he'll be a better child in the future.

this week

i had written a quite emotional entry this week. i don't know if it was fortunate or unfortunate, but it didn't get posted.

anyway, this week is not the best i had so far. it started off on the wrong foot. i had a fight with the bf sunday night. but it's not such a good fight because the bf never wants to fight. hahaha! i got mad, of course. but since he's at fault, he didn't want to prolong it. naturally, i didn't stop until he got tired tired of my nagging. anyway, it's over. he said sorry. i forgave but i will never forget.

it's still thurday, the week is almost over but my boss asked me to work on saturday. ugh! oh well, if i didn't pity him, i'd say no. the thing is, i often skip two to three days of work to travel with the bf so it's the least i can do.

but i did realize something, i am getting fat! hahaha! since i no longer work at the office, i'm at home most of the time. i don't do anything much. just sit, lie in bed or go out. i realized my tummy was growing big, and it's not pre-menstrual bloating! so after dinner tonight, i didn't sit until after one hour. i had a roommate before who was quite big. but she lost weight by dieting and not sitting for thirty minutes after every meal. i'm going to do that now, the diet part i'm not so sure though.

thank God, tomorrow is friday. not that i have definite plans. the bf and i were thinking of going to a concert here- or not really. i could just finish up dvd i started to watch last week. or watch the movie i downloaded. i'm fine either way.

i know that times can be good and bad. but i try to keep it all in stride. i remain a happy and contented person because i have a strong faith and i know good things come to those who wait.

mommy basics

the baby's nanny went home today. since i no longer go to the office, i took care of him the whole day. it was fun, since the baby is a bit older. it was easier compared to before. my only problem was in getting him to eat. he is very picky with food and i am always worried he's too skinny. but i really do not have much choice, the best i can do is buy food that he likes. the baby is still spoon-fed. he can eat a bit on his own, but to make it easier on me, i'd rather feed him. this morning, i didn't give him his milk because he said no. by 11, he just said "mommy, i'm hungry". ha! imagine that! so i gave him rice and hotdogs and a glass of milk after. then it was time for his afternoon nap.

after sleeping, he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. yes, he was grumpy. but after a few minutes he recovered. he watched a bit of tv, ate cookies then i took him outside to run around. i forget it was almost dinnertime until mom called me to feed him. i prepared his food and fed him while watching tv. again, easier on both of us (even if his pediatrician warned me never to let him eat while watching tv!) i have a feeling i'll keep on feeding him rather than his yaya because he ate so much more than he usually does. it's probably because i am much more stricter than the yaya.

this will go on for a couple of days until she returns. so for now, i am a full-time mother. and it's great!

the burger hunt

the bf and i usually spend sundays apart. he often visits his parents on that day and i just laze around the house doing nothing. it's great. it gives us a chance to miss each other after being together most of the week. i've gotten used to it. although, sometimes he does visit me at home.

so today is another one of those sundays. it rained this morning and it was a perfect time to simply stay in bed and do nothing. i did wake up early since i slept early last night. i didn't want to oversleep (it would mean sleeping late tonight). i didn't take a shower too-not that i stink. hahaha!

i don't usually eat snacks in the morning so i was looking forward to lunch. unfortunately, mom didn't cook because it was raining and she too got lazy. she ordered lechon from our neighbor and that's what she served. don't get me wrong, i like lechon but i only like the crispy skin. so if i had to make a meal out of rice and lechon skin, no thank you. so i didn't eat lunch. i decided to eat out. in my mind, i was thinking of the grilled burgers at one of the restaurants in the city. when i got there, surprise! it was closed. so i went on to another cafe but they didn't have burgers. i drove around looking for an open restaurant that served the burgers i wanted. i just couldn't eat anywhere. it took me about 30 minutes and 5 restaurants later until i gave up. i ended up eating at the food court of a local mall. it wasn't what i had in mind but it had to do.

the burger was not i imagined. but it was good enough. i did enjoy getting stuff for the baby's upcoming birthday and looking around the toys department. i didn't bother window shopping for clothes. i had no energy nor the budget right now. hahaha! instead, i went down to the supermarket for baby's food requirements for the week. then i headed for home.

thinking about my day, i had fun. i may have been alone but i enjoyed it. come to think of it, i'll probably do it again next week.

this i want

i want to have many things. yes, material things. but the truth is even if i don't get to buy them, i'll be perfectly fine. nevertheless, i just want to share some of the things i wish i had.

1. iPad: the bf gave me a computer last year for my birthday. i wanted to get an iPad but he wasn't too keen on it. maybe this year perhaps? = )
   
2. iPhone: i got a new phone the other year and i've been thinking of getting an iPhone. still thinking up to now!
   
3. Longchamp tote: i don't really like the bag's design but i do think it'll be ideal for all the travelling that i do. i use a dependable and cheap backpack these days and it's been fine.
   
4. black Fitflops: i still need to get a black pair, i gave my old one to my mom because it was too big. so far, no budget.
5. computer printer: up to now, i still haven't bought my own printer. i don't use it as much but it is necessary at times.
6. polariod camera: i love the idea of getting the new polaroid camera. it would be quite fun to own one.
7. Kindle: so i won't have to be lugging around books everywhere. how i wish!
   
8. sunglasses: i think i need a new pair, my old ones got scratched a bit. that happens when you just stuff it inside your purse without its case. = (

can't even find enough stuff to complete the list. isn't that great?

my life so far...

when i resurrected this blog, i had no idea what to write. sure, i was going to write about my life and family etc. but other than that, i had no clue.

so here i am writing again. but ever since i stopped going to the office, i have sort of lost contact with the world, so to speak. if i didn't surf the web, watch tv or listen to the radio, i'd be at a loss for news. but i don't feel badly about it. my world may have become smaller but it's still my world. i am still as happy and content as i was last year.

i am proud to say i am contented with my life. true, i have wishes and dreams but if i don't achieve them, i'm still happy with my life. i have learned to let go of material desires and high expectations. instead, i make the most out of every day. everyday i spend with loved ones is a day well spent. i do not want a day to pass knowing i didn't do anything worth smiling. i may not have a big bank account balance, in fact i may struggle some days, but i will still live.

i have learned to enjoy my time. my time alone, time with the bf, time with baby and time with the family. squeezing in a few hours with friends is an even better deal. i try not to harbor ill thoughts about other people. i don't allow myself thoughts of revenge or vendetta. instead, i choose to forget about them. i tell God i forgive them and i will no longer concern myself about them. they have their lives and i have my own. it means less stress at the end of the day.

of course, i am human. i feel sad or discouraged and hurt at times. and i allow myself to feel those feelings. but i also know when to stop. i shake myself mentally and say enough. then i move on to better and happier things.

if there's one thing i realized, every day you live and every day you learn.

letting go

photo by: alluriyah.multiply.com

i am the type of person who knows when to say goodbye and let go. i believe in giving my all and my everything in a relationship-even just a friendship. i will not hesitate to help, to love, to care and to share. i am very trusting so expect that what is told to me is the truth. i always try to tell the truth but i also know when to keep my mouth shut.

to be perfectly honest, somewhere in the back of my mind, i'll be breaking up with the bf. somehow, i feel there is an end for us. i am not crazy or anything because i do love him but there are also parts of him i still do not like. even up to now, i just endure them because i love him. and i know that he's a good person. he hates some of my qualities too and i guess that's normal. but really, the fact that we're not married yet should speak for itself, right? i am comfortable with our relationship as it is. somehow the next step is too hard to take. besides, i'd really make a lousy wife! hahaha!

but i'm talking about letting go because one of my girlfriends has finally thrown in the towel. she's finally decided not to save her marriage. she has been struggling for over a year with her unfaithful husband and the sad thing is her mistress is overseas. imagine you are the wife and yet you have to compete with a mistress who is not even in the same country??? it's just absurd if you ask me. finally though, she gave up. and i am glad. she has been and still is the most faithful person i know and this is what she gets in turn. but then again, that piece of ass called his husband had a wandering eye even then. i didn't want her to marry him before. but who am i to say no? naturally, i can't say "i told you so".

i am not saying you have to let go and give up right away. it's just that people are only human. they also get tired. i got tired of my ex-bf even if we were together for about 10 years. we had a wedding date and would have married the next year. but i figured if this is what he is before marriage, then it's probably going to get worse. you can only take so much, after all.