shopaholic-not!

before i became a mom, shopping and i were very close. really close! in a month, i would go home with a new pair of shoes, a couple of tops, a dress, purse etc. (i wasn't really much into accessories or bling. i loved real gold and white gold jewelry though )

my closet was always full, my shoes were always in style, i was always in style. i used to match my bag with my shoes! and somehow, i always found a perfect bag for the perfect shoe. but that was history. now, i hardly ever buy anything for myself. my last bag purchase was last May, i think. i finally got my Longchamp (for travel) this month. but only because my gff was selling at a discounted price, straight from the US.

every now and then i get enough money left over for a new blouse. but that's it. i am currently lusting over a pair of sandals but i find the price too steep. before, i wouldn't have batted an eyelash at the cost. but now, i cannot afford to waste that amount on something so trivial. i mean, yes my feet will surely look good in them, but that would mean an empty pocket for me afterwards.

maybe it's called growing up, maybe it's called being practical. but as of today, the material things no longer matter as much. i can do without the trappings of a luxurious or stylish life. and i have been managing that for a few years already.

i would much rather see my baby dressed up to the nines more than me. one time, we were going out and i was just wearing shorts and a blouse with fitflops. he actually asked me this: mommy, where's your wow? for him, i wasn't dressed up at all!

something missing

i grew up thinking i was nobody special. i was not pretty enough, i wasn't that intelligent, i could sing decently, i couldn't dance and i was not artistic.

before, it didn't bother me so much. i was after all simply average. but deep down, i thought something was missing in me. others could sing very well, or be very artistic, could dance gracefully etc. i couldn't find something i was really good at! i always felt second best.

every so often, i analyze my life. and still that something missing in me hasn't been filled. but somehow, that no longer matters. despite what is lacking in my life, i am happy. my friends say i'm pretty enough, the bf finds me beautiful. i find i am good at what i do, people admire my writing talent. i find it mediocre at best, but hey! it's still writing. and besides, God made me. i may not be perfect, but what i have came from Him. and for that alone, i am thankful. everything happens for a reason. and what i have or lack of it has a reason as well.

and besides, now that i have the baby, i feel complete!

hodgepodge

last week, the bf and i travelled in the midst of yet another typhoon. but as always, we were lucky to have gone to manila after the storm has passed. while we did see some flooding in bulacan, it worsened after we went home. it's just sad to know some friends are still suffering up to now. the bf couldn't contact them anymore. i just hope they're good and well. one of bf's acquaintance has his house near the water and apparently, the water is up to neck now. God bless us all.

****
it's a lazy sunday and it's my day-off from the bf! hahaha! when i think of it, i feel like a maid. but really, it's our day to just laze around. i haven't even showered yet!

****
i'm taking a break from my friends. while i am close to them, a little distance won't hurt. one of my girlfriends is pregnant and she was the one who broke up with her husband. and while i have no right to think anything since it's not my life, still i'm kind of pissed at her. i mean, she kept on saying how she was over him etc. and now she's pregnant??? who else is she kidding but herself??? whatever!!!

****

i need to lose weight. slowly, i am regaining my old figure and i hate it! hahaha! the bf is fine with whatever size i am. (that's what they always say, right? ) but next month, i need to really watch what i shove in my mouth. i am back to drinking coke and eating sinful desserts. and it's absolutely delicious! it doesn't help that i no longer work so i really just keep on lying down and sleep and sit and eat!

****

the baby is growing fast! he's talkative and is eating well. the only problem is that he isn't potty trained yet. but i am not forcing him. in time, he'll figure it out. and i won't have to buy diapers anymore!

contentment

there's a fine line between being content and being lazy. sometimes people just say they are content and so live their lives just doing what they do. and they do it day in, day out every year. i almost did that as well. i had a good paying job, i didn't have to do really heavy work. but i quit. part of it was because i was no longer happy with the work environment. second, was that i needed to grow. i felt stuck in a rut in the office i used to go to.

now i am happy with my online job. it's exciting and always keeps me on my toes. i also do part-time work that is really in line with my profession. it's fulfilling knowing i work hard for my money. i guess having a lot of time to spend with the baby and the bf is a good thing too. before, when i worked 8-5, i felt so pressed for time. time was not enough and time flew so fast. now, i have time to enjoy breakfast, i can sleep in, i can choose to start working in the afternoon only etc. there is more time to spend with the people i love and do the things i enjoy.

if i wanted to be content, i should have stayed with my old job and grew old with my officemates. however, life pushes us to do something else. and i took push that in stride. i accepted the fact that maybe it was time to go and move on. and that choice has made my life better. in the next few years, maybe i'll choose another career. i'm open to that. i'd rather be excited and be on my toes, than have my feet dragging in the ground.

if you do what makes you happy, you won't have to work a day in your life. at least that's what they say...

long time...

it took me this long to write because september is the baby and my birth month. i was busy planning the baby's birthday and had to travel with the bf after. my birthday is just around the corner although i am not looking forward to that!

life seems just about right. so far i have no major problems, except for money (that isn't new!!).
so i am quite thankful to the Lord. the baby's getting healthier as well. he's taken to the new vitamins we introduced and he is eating decently, compared to before.

i got a new set of wheels! i'm just so glad to get rid of my old car. (thank you bf! hahaha!) although i did damage it a bit. luckily, the glass wasn't broken so it'll not be as expensive to repair. (sigh of relief!) it's my birthday present from the bf although i did contribute a bit. a teeny tiny bit, but i did contribute! come to think of it, i only wanted an iPhone!

my ex-bf wanted to add me as friend in facebook. i ignored it. he can think what he wants but we are not friends! it's not because i have feelings for him. it's just that i haven't forgiven him totally. a part of me still hates him for the dastardly brutal things he did to me. i must admit, part of it was my fault for letting him do it to me. but in a way, he took advantage of me. and for that i cannot forgive him. we were together for a long time and sometimes when think of it, i get mad. i have moved on. but the ex-bf and i will probably not be friends anymore, at least for me anyway.

i'm going to be 30 soon. ouch! that's quite a painful admission. but one of my girlfriends said that if you are at an age ending 9, its unlucky. when the bf and i looked back, it was kind of unlucky for me too. so i am ready to say goodbye to being 29!! although the bf teases me of being old. i simply retort, you are older so who are you to say that??

i'm looking forward to christmas! even if i won't get any present from santa this year! i almost never do! that's okay... i've been blessed and am continually blessed. what more can i ask for?

baby talk 2

Baby handed me a piece of his biscuit.

Baby: Here Mommy, eat.
Me: Thank you Baby

Because I was busy playing with my cellphone, I didn't eat the biscuit.

Baby: Eat now Mommy.
Me: Ok.

So I popped the biscuit in my mouth.

Baby: Very good!

*******

I have a huge zit on my face! It's smack in the middle and it's really red. Baby keeps on looking at is and says I have "yayay". One night, he looked at it and said this:

Baby: Mommy, get medicine.

So I got the bottle and handed it to him. He opened it and dropped some liquid in his finger. Then he applied it to my face. I was speechless!

Baby: Finished.

baby talk

the baby is growing up faster than i thought he would. he can talk in straight sentences already. i'm amazed to have a smart son and i know i didn't exactly do much (just my genes of course!)

every saturday, we are obliged or shall i say, required to go to my uncle's house for brunch. ever since we've had kids (my sis and i) we go to his house on saturdays without fail. yesterday was no exception. i didn't want the baby to eat his morning snack because then he won't have much of an appetite for brunch. but around 9 am or so, the ice cream man stopped at the house. the baby wanted to me to buy him a cone but i said no. i told the baby we had ice cream in the freezer, but he didn't want it. so he cried a bit but forgot about ice cream soon enough. after about 20 minutes, the other ice cream man was approaching. apparently, the baby heard him too and this is what he said:

Baby: Mommy, wisten (no L!) it's the ice cream man, he's coming back!
Me: Yes, he is.
Baby: Buy ice cream, Mommy.

naturally, i did. it's not as if i had a choice! = )
______________

the baby's birthday is coming up. the baby and my uncle were playing the bedroom (because it's really cold there!) when my unlce asked:

Uncle: Gwapo, did Mommy buy you a birthday present already?
Baby: Yes!
Uncle: What did she get you?
Baby: Toys!

oops! now that's a natural liar! i laughed when i heard it because i haven't gotten him anything yet. i don't even know if he understands the word present but he gave the right answer though!