it's complicated

thanks to social networking, a person's status is no longer just single, married, separated or widow(er). now you can state whether you are in a relation or simply state it's complicated.
that is my status now actually. i'm not referring to my Facebook status but my actual status.
yes, it's definitely complicated.

i am a single mom. but i do have a relationship with my baby's father. i call him my boyfriend, my family thinks of him as my partner. he calls me his wife. now isn't that complicated? you see, we don't live together. i don't want to. i think it's too much effort being a wife. my baby sleeps beside me, so it's not as if i need someone with me at night. i just want the pillow talk though. somehow my baby can't quite master that yet.

honestly? maybe i'm just scared. he asked me to marry once, no it wasn't a proposal, but i turned him down. somehow, i like the current situation. there are times i wish i was a married woman (especially when it comes to witholding taxes) but right now being single still works for me. he insists i am his wife and tells people so. we don't have a ring to show but when they ask if we have a child and we answer in affirmative, it suffices. i just smile in answer. it works too.

nevertheless, if you ask me, whatever a person's status is does not really matter. at the end of the day, if you are happy and quite content with your life, then that's what matters. you can be married and yet have domestic problems or be single and be thoroughly content. the choice is absolutely yours... = )

cheap and cheerful!

as i mentioned, i am a small-town girl. small town means a cheaper cost of living, lower income and basically a simple lifestyle. it doesn't mean i live in the neck of the woods, or that i do not know fashion, food, living etc in the big city. i did live for almost a year in manila, have ridden the jeepneys, taxi, MRT and LRT, prayed at Quiapo and St. Jude and visited Greenbelt, Baclaran and Divisoria. i have experienced the big city life. but i hated it! not exactly every minute of it. the food was good and so was the shopping and movies but i felt like i was always in a rush. commute to work is 30-45 minutes in what would have been 10 minutes back home. and that was during the summer months. when it was time for classes, it took almost an hour to get to work! i had to do housework on weekends since i lived alone and was to tired to do it during the work week. so i left. and have been happier ever since. (we have household help at home!)

thanks to the internet and television, i am still in touch with the latest trends, concerts and happenings. just like the janet jackson concert i would have wanted to watch but at 15,000 and 8,000? i'm sorry but you have got to be kidding me!

small town life is cheap and cheerful. if you have a hundred bucks in our town, that can buy you lunch and snacks! but in manila, that is only a cup of coffee!
another good example of the difference between a big and a small town is this pair of shoes. i got this at an american surplus shop at home. mind you, this pair is brand new too! i was aiming for anthology flats (bottom photo) but it seemed way out of my budget. this pair of ballet flats cost me only 680 (top photo) while this orchid pair costs 2,995. as my bff would say, my black flats are definitely cheap but cheerful!

LV Speedy

i've always wanted to get this bag. the real one, mind you. not "class a" or "super class a" imitation. but with my limited means, it's an impossible dream. this is by far a much cheaper dream than an Hermes Birkin though!
i figured if i buy this bag then i won't have to eat for a few months. i'd just stare at my speedy!

the buzzz...

everyone loves to gossip. i'd be a hypocrite if i say i don't. but i try not to gossip in a bad way. i talk about stuff about me and my family. but sometimes other people's lives are by far juicier and more exciting. (admit it!)
anyway, i'm usually the last to know about "chika" regarding my girlfriends and it's cool with me. i once said my gossip radar has probably been damaged without my knowing because by the time i hear the latest news it's already six months old or more.

but tonight though, i heard disturbing news about a relative of mine who works abroad. it may be pure gossip or it could have a grain of truth in it. the bearer had some facts straight, so who knows? but what's most surprising is that the he is a complete stranger. makes me wonder what his motive is.

honestly, i don't know.. we all have been victims of malicious gossip, right? whether it be petty or damaging others have found you and me fascinating enough. enough to manufacture, concoct or conclude lies about us. if and when i hear gossip about me, i don't give it much thought if it isn't true. the people who care about me will ask the truth from me anyway. and if it is... i simply wonder how they know and who told them! (hahaha!)

i only hope the rumor i heard isn't true at all. it's much too sad a story to contemplate, let alone for it to have happened in real life. in fairness, this gossip is hot off the press! it is in fact the latest buzz.

giving friendship a rest

i have a circle of friends and we've been friends for about 15 years. that's quite a short time compared to the friends i've known for 25 years or more. but i would like to think i'm closest to my girls.

anyway, last year i had a silent feud with one of them. i think it's silly calling it a feud. i'm not mad at her, she is mad at me though. it's basically my fualt, when you think of it. but in my defense, it's about my personal life which i believe, is my choice. the thing is, they're the type of people who want to know every teeny, bitty detail of your life. and well, i try not to talk to much. they thrive on information, however trivial and mundane it may be. on the other hand, i am always out of the loop. news always comes to me last. not that it matters. i couldn't care less really. so that's usually where our differences lie. hence, the resting friendship.

i used to have a lunch buddy and we were talking once about a common friend of ours who had some personal thing going on. and he simply said this "i don't really care about that, she's my friend and that's all that matters". and i was like, i totally agree.

i never really go much into the lives of my friends. its theirs to deal with, i have my own. if they share details of their life, fine. if not, its fine with me as well. i mean, friends may be family we choose but it doesn't mean our lives should revolve around them. i'm not that heartless, actually. i will care about you, visit you when you are sick, be around special moments or occasions but i won't stifle or crowd you with my presence.

so i guess that's our problem. i keep myself at a distance, living my life as i choose to while they think how i live my life should be broadcast to the whole clique. oh well, time heals... in time everything will be okay, after taking a break, that is.

the art of doing nothing

I work from Monday to Friday, 8 to 5. I come home for lunch, an hour a day and I have two days off. The weekend, that is.

I usually don't plan anything for the weekend. As I said, the art of doing nothing. And I love it!

I have no social life to speak of, as I am a single mother. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. As soon as I get home, I never leave. I have no desire to go out, get a drink or two even to go to the movies, etc. I am my son's slave from 5:15 pm till bedtime.

So the weekend is our bonding time. At his tender age, he wants always watch his DVDs so we lie in bed, him absorbed in his movie and me on my computer or reading a book. We separate only when he takes his nap. Well, he loves going to the mall and I indulge him once a week. That is the extent of my doing something. Other than that, I am mastering the art of doing nothing every weekend.