- sleeping late
- eating anything and everything
- movies
- computer games
- relaxing
- sleeping yet again
- reading
- reading
- long showers
- family bonding
Saturday, October 29, 2011
lazy sunday
today is yet another lazy sunday. for me that means:
Friday, October 28, 2011
family matters
the bf is planning to take his father to visit his mother (who left their home) next week. his father has been regularly asking/begging the bf to accompany him on the trip. his father plans to convince his mother to come home (i've written an earlier post on this). since it'll be a family affair, i've decided not to go with them. i don't want to be involved in that especially since it'll be messy, i think!
since he'll be away for a couple of days, he wants me to go out of town as well. i do not really want to since i am broke. (hahaha! that's not news) you see, when i travel with the bf, i don't worry about money. he pays for everything! so if i go on my own, then i will have to pay for it myself! boo! i told him that and he says ok, i'll give you some. yippee! so i just might bring along the baby and my parents and go.
he says i'll be lonely without him so i should have fun. the truth is, i won't really be lonely! but don't tell him that.
since he'll be away for a couple of days, he wants me to go out of town as well. i do not really want to since i am broke. (hahaha! that's not news) you see, when i travel with the bf, i don't worry about money. he pays for everything! so if i go on my own, then i will have to pay for it myself! boo! i told him that and he says ok, i'll give you some. yippee! so i just might bring along the baby and my parents and go.
he says i'll be lonely without him so i should have fun. the truth is, i won't really be lonely! but don't tell him that.
driving lessons
i haven't had decent sleep in two nights and i'm still awake right now. i was travelling with the bf a couple of days ago and this always happens. anyway, i just want to share what happened last night on our way home.
the bf and i were in separate vehicles. he drove the pick up while i drove the utility vehicle we purchased for my uncle. we were about four hours away from home and i had to drive a stick shift. now, i'm an automatic kind of girl. i may have learned to drive a vehicle using the stick but i've been driving a/t for a while now. since it was only the two of us on this trip, i had no choice. the bf wanted me to drive his truck but i didn't want anything to happen to it. hahaha!
about two hours away of traveling, we were passing the area where there are threats of NPAs and dangerous bandits. i am usually scared when we pass here, especially at night. the place is actually in and around the mountain with twisting and curving roads. but since i was driving, i had no choice. i was just mastering the art of driving a stick and hoping not to get in any accident. the bf led and i was behind. i saw a man lying in the middle of the road, looking up at me. beside him was like a pool of blood. we encountered two trucks going in the opposite direction and i don't know if they were the culprits. the bf didn't stop so i didn't stop as well. but up to now, i can still envision the man's face staring at me, as if seeking help. luckily, i saw a group of four people walking towards him so i was relieved knowing someone could attend to him.
we didn't stop because we were completely heartless. it's just the area was not safe. it could have been a trap. that happened to us a few years back. the road was actually covered with rocks and tree branches. if they were waiting for us to stop then, too bad. the bf just proceeded, hitting the obstruction. i believe it's better to be safe than sorry, given the history.
we stopped about 20 kilometers from where the man was and the bf teased me that i was the one who hit him. i said of course not, but i admit i was shaken up. oh well, chalk it up to experience yet again.
the bf and i were in separate vehicles. he drove the pick up while i drove the utility vehicle we purchased for my uncle. we were about four hours away from home and i had to drive a stick shift. now, i'm an automatic kind of girl. i may have learned to drive a vehicle using the stick but i've been driving a/t for a while now. since it was only the two of us on this trip, i had no choice. the bf wanted me to drive his truck but i didn't want anything to happen to it. hahaha!
about two hours away of traveling, we were passing the area where there are threats of NPAs and dangerous bandits. i am usually scared when we pass here, especially at night. the place is actually in and around the mountain with twisting and curving roads. but since i was driving, i had no choice. i was just mastering the art of driving a stick and hoping not to get in any accident. the bf led and i was behind. i saw a man lying in the middle of the road, looking up at me. beside him was like a pool of blood. we encountered two trucks going in the opposite direction and i don't know if they were the culprits. the bf didn't stop so i didn't stop as well. but up to now, i can still envision the man's face staring at me, as if seeking help. luckily, i saw a group of four people walking towards him so i was relieved knowing someone could attend to him.
we didn't stop because we were completely heartless. it's just the area was not safe. it could have been a trap. that happened to us a few years back. the road was actually covered with rocks and tree branches. if they were waiting for us to stop then, too bad. the bf just proceeded, hitting the obstruction. i believe it's better to be safe than sorry, given the history.
we stopped about 20 kilometers from where the man was and the bf teased me that i was the one who hit him. i said of course not, but i admit i was shaken up. oh well, chalk it up to experience yet again.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
parents' stuff
i have always had a normal family life. my father was away until i was in college. he had to work away from home, first overseas then around the country. it was a normal set-up for us not to have a father growing up. (most of my cousin's fathers were all way, working as well) so i grew up with a mother to look up to. it was always mama who was around. the father was just a visiting figure who came to stay for about a couple of weeks to a month. he wasn't the disciplinarian. he let us get away with stuff we wanted to do etc. i remember taking trips, going out and having fun when my father came home. he only retired when we were all grown up. i was about to finish my degree and my brother was starting his first year in college. it was like getting-to-know father again.
now that we are older, our family is closer than ever. we enjoy weekends, out of town trips etc. even our family meals are such fun (compared to the adolescent years of course) the bf, on the other hand, feels jealous of this. it's because he is not close to his family. when i think of it, he got influenced by our family. only recently has he been visiting his folks and bonding with his siblings. he used to see them only during special occasions like fiestas, Christmas or birthdays. and often its his parents who visit.
the bf's parents often quarrel. almost every year since i got together with the bf, his mom runs away from home. its because his father physically and verbally abuses her. but his father is so repentant afterwards that his mother always goes back home. this year, it happened again. and so his mom is in the metropolis to stay with the bf's brother. she vehemently says she is never going back home and is thinking of starting her own business there. his father has begged the bf to take him to his mother the next time he travels. he has said he will take him, probably next month.
i have never seen my father hit my mother. before, my parents would only fight inside their bedroom. there would be no raised voices or violence. now, as they are older, they only give each other the cold treatment. and they make up within a couple of days. for me, the trouble with the bf's parents is an alien concept. i know that the bf is not like his father for a fact. i am not worried about that. but i think it's sad because they are already old people. they are supposed to love and care for each other more. and i feel for the bf who is feeling torn. he has told his father not to do it again or he will personally take his mother away. he didn't have to do it this time, his mom ran away on her own. and according to her, she is never going back-ever! and to think that the fight was not even about a major issue. just the typical husband and wife argument that led to violence.
this is still a developing story, there is no conclusion yet. i think his father will really beg for his mother to come home. the only question is this: is his wife going to fall for it? i have a feeling the answer is no.
now that we are older, our family is closer than ever. we enjoy weekends, out of town trips etc. even our family meals are such fun (compared to the adolescent years of course) the bf, on the other hand, feels jealous of this. it's because he is not close to his family. when i think of it, he got influenced by our family. only recently has he been visiting his folks and bonding with his siblings. he used to see them only during special occasions like fiestas, Christmas or birthdays. and often its his parents who visit.
the bf's parents often quarrel. almost every year since i got together with the bf, his mom runs away from home. its because his father physically and verbally abuses her. but his father is so repentant afterwards that his mother always goes back home. this year, it happened again. and so his mom is in the metropolis to stay with the bf's brother. she vehemently says she is never going back home and is thinking of starting her own business there. his father has begged the bf to take him to his mother the next time he travels. he has said he will take him, probably next month.
i have never seen my father hit my mother. before, my parents would only fight inside their bedroom. there would be no raised voices or violence. now, as they are older, they only give each other the cold treatment. and they make up within a couple of days. for me, the trouble with the bf's parents is an alien concept. i know that the bf is not like his father for a fact. i am not worried about that. but i think it's sad because they are already old people. they are supposed to love and care for each other more. and i feel for the bf who is feeling torn. he has told his father not to do it again or he will personally take his mother away. he didn't have to do it this time, his mom ran away on her own. and according to her, she is never going back-ever! and to think that the fight was not even about a major issue. just the typical husband and wife argument that led to violence.
this is still a developing story, there is no conclusion yet. i think his father will really beg for his mother to come home. the only question is this: is his wife going to fall for it? i have a feeling the answer is no.
gimme a break!
it is a long weekend here in our place. friday was declared a province-wide holiday for the annual festival. i was exempted from the holiday. i still had work to submit but i had to drive the folks and the kiddies to watch the street parade. apparently, they do that every year. i was travelling with the bf last year so i didn't get to watch. now, it's my brother who's travelling, i had no choice but to go with them. anyway, i thought it was a complete waste of my time (sorry!) it started late, which is the norm-us being Filipinos after all. then the people crowded the streets giving very little space for the dancers.
saturday was another work day. ugh! i was looking forward to just relaxing but it wasn't meant to be. it would have been fine if my nephew wasn't around. his parents had a wedding to attend to and my folks were going out. that left me with two kids and two yayas. i was still finishing work at around 8pm since i started working late in the afternoon already. by the time i was doing the editing, i let my baby's yaya rest and took over. but you cannot expect peace when you show a computer to two toddlers. i took me almost an hour to edit and submit my work. by then, the baby was irritated and wanting to sleep. however, my nephew was not. he wanted to stay in our bedroom and play. he was always crying and was always hitting his yaya. i was getting fed up with him. i was already exhausted and he exacerbated it.
today, i woke early because the baby woke me up. it would have been fine until my nephew woke up and began his temper tantrums. i got so tired of his crap, i just stood up and left. i drove to the beach and let the sea breeze and the waves calm me down. i was able to catch the break i needed. when i got home, my nephew was still there but i didn't mind him or the baby. i took a shower instead and worked on a part-time task due tomorrow.
now, the nephew has gone home, the folks are out and the baby is asleep. since it's sunday, the bf is at his father's house (his mom ran away-i'll you why in a different post) to placate and console him. this is how i want my life to be. it doesn't matter if i don't go to exotic places and do exciting things. i am happier being alone anyway, doing absolutely nothing. = )
saturday was another work day. ugh! i was looking forward to just relaxing but it wasn't meant to be. it would have been fine if my nephew wasn't around. his parents had a wedding to attend to and my folks were going out. that left me with two kids and two yayas. i was still finishing work at around 8pm since i started working late in the afternoon already. by the time i was doing the editing, i let my baby's yaya rest and took over. but you cannot expect peace when you show a computer to two toddlers. i took me almost an hour to edit and submit my work. by then, the baby was irritated and wanting to sleep. however, my nephew was not. he wanted to stay in our bedroom and play. he was always crying and was always hitting his yaya. i was getting fed up with him. i was already exhausted and he exacerbated it.
today, i woke early because the baby woke me up. it would have been fine until my nephew woke up and began his temper tantrums. i got so tired of his crap, i just stood up and left. i drove to the beach and let the sea breeze and the waves calm me down. i was able to catch the break i needed. when i got home, my nephew was still there but i didn't mind him or the baby. i took a shower instead and worked on a part-time task due tomorrow.
now, the nephew has gone home, the folks are out and the baby is asleep. since it's sunday, the bf is at his father's house (his mom ran away-i'll you why in a different post) to placate and console him. this is how i want my life to be. it doesn't matter if i don't go to exotic places and do exciting things. i am happier being alone anyway, doing absolutely nothing. = )
Thursday, October 20, 2011
above the law
today started out just fine. i went out with the bf this morning to do errands. we bought stuff etc. we stopped by the ticket office for our next trip. i was talking with the workers while waiting for the ticket when the manager arrived. he told them a certain person has been shot in the next town and to turn on the radio. when i was done, i told the bf (he was waiting in the car) to turn on his radio as well. he knew the man and his son, apparently. so he told we me we were going to look at the crime scene.
when we got there, there were a lot of usoseros and usoseras. it was your typical filipino crime scene basically. i stayed in the car, i am scared of blood and death! the bf went to investigate. after about ten minutes he came back. he told me to go take a look! hello??? so went with him and squeezed past everyone making usyoso. in truth, i only saw the lower half of the body, i didn't dare looking at the upper half (luckily, the man was facing the ground) after that, i went back and stayed in the car until we left. the bf became one of the usoseros and reported whatever information he heard to me every so often.
this kind of killing is very rampant in our place. women and men are not spared from this brutal killings. the sad thing is, the murderers get away with it. there often no leads and no suspects at all. i am against guns, honestly. the bf has his own licensed gun that he carries in a bag. i tell him how much i dislike it but he argues its for protection. the thing is, the bf can have quite a temper when provoked although he hasn't lost control yet. i'm just hoping it won't happen.
but more importantly, i am a little worried something like that will happen to him. he is a businessman, after all. i don't say it out loud, i wait for him to do talk about it. luckily, the bf is always careful and we don't always go out at night.
no one should be above the law. i hope there will be justice for this man and for everyone else who were killed before him. may he rest in peace.
when we got there, there were a lot of usoseros and usoseras. it was your typical filipino crime scene basically. i stayed in the car, i am scared of blood and death! the bf went to investigate. after about ten minutes he came back. he told me to go take a look! hello??? so went with him and squeezed past everyone making usyoso. in truth, i only saw the lower half of the body, i didn't dare looking at the upper half (luckily, the man was facing the ground) after that, i went back and stayed in the car until we left. the bf became one of the usoseros and reported whatever information he heard to me every so often.
this kind of killing is very rampant in our place. women and men are not spared from this brutal killings. the sad thing is, the murderers get away with it. there often no leads and no suspects at all. i am against guns, honestly. the bf has his own licensed gun that he carries in a bag. i tell him how much i dislike it but he argues its for protection. the thing is, the bf can have quite a temper when provoked although he hasn't lost control yet. i'm just hoping it won't happen.
but more importantly, i am a little worried something like that will happen to him. he is a businessman, after all. i don't say it out loud, i wait for him to do talk about it. luckily, the bf is always careful and we don't always go out at night.
no one should be above the law. i hope there will be justice for this man and for everyone else who were killed before him. may he rest in peace.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
perfect timing
when the bf and i travel, we get plane tickets a week early to get cheaper seats. it has happened that we fly to the metropolis before, during or after a typhoon. one time, we flew to manila when storm signal number two was raised. my mom was more worried than me. we missed pedring by a day, we had already left when it hit. but ramon finally caught up with us. we were stranded for about 24 hours.
during that period, we checked into a travel lodge to sleep. since i don't live with the bf, it's sort of a new experience. i'm not used to having someone else in my bed. and having the bf was kinda weird, even if we have done this countless times through the years. =) my major problem is that i hate the cold. it was raining intermittenly so the outside temperature was low. but the bf felt very hot, so he turned up the airconditioning system full blast. unfortunately, the lodge's blanket was very thin. i hogged the blanket and turned my back on him. at about 5 am or so, i woke and saw him curled up. apparently, he was feeling extra cold already but couldn't share my blanket! hahaha! so we ended up just talking and watching television very early in the morning. we spent the entire day cooped up. we only went out to get something to eat.
being stranded does have its perks. it allows us more uninterrupted time together. however, i was worrying about the baby because he had cough and fever when i left. knowing he was with my parents comforted me, at least he in safe and loving hands. when i called home, he didn't even want to talk because he was busy playing.
our trips are planned perfectly and without fail, our plans often go awry. i just smile when he plots out itinerary because i know it won't get followed anyway. i guess there is no such thing as perfect timing, right?
during that period, we checked into a travel lodge to sleep. since i don't live with the bf, it's sort of a new experience. i'm not used to having someone else in my bed. and having the bf was kinda weird, even if we have done this countless times through the years. =) my major problem is that i hate the cold. it was raining intermittenly so the outside temperature was low. but the bf felt very hot, so he turned up the airconditioning system full blast. unfortunately, the lodge's blanket was very thin. i hogged the blanket and turned my back on him. at about 5 am or so, i woke and saw him curled up. apparently, he was feeling extra cold already but couldn't share my blanket! hahaha! so we ended up just talking and watching television very early in the morning. we spent the entire day cooped up. we only went out to get something to eat.
being stranded does have its perks. it allows us more uninterrupted time together. however, i was worrying about the baby because he had cough and fever when i left. knowing he was with my parents comforted me, at least he in safe and loving hands. when i called home, he didn't even want to talk because he was busy playing.
our trips are planned perfectly and without fail, our plans often go awry. i just smile when he plots out itinerary because i know it won't get followed anyway. i guess there is no such thing as perfect timing, right?
baby talks now!
my baby is growing up to be very talkative. here are some his witty moments:
i was away for several days on a trip with the bf. so i called him on the phone because he had fever and was coughing when i left.
Me: Hi baby!
Baby: Yes
Me: What are you doing?
Baby: I'm playing
Me: Are you okay?
Baby: Yes
Me: What did you eat?
Baby: Cerelac, not Koko Krunch
Me: Do you miss mommy?
Baby: enough
*and he didn't talk to me anymore! the nerve!*
__________
i was driving the car and my uncle was with us. we were talking about something and the baby was just listening. when there was a lull in our conversation he asked: Mommy, what are you talking?
i was away for several days on a trip with the bf. so i called him on the phone because he had fever and was coughing when i left.
Me: Hi baby!
Baby: Yes
Me: What are you doing?
Baby: I'm playing
Me: Are you okay?
Baby: Yes
Me: What did you eat?
Baby: Cerelac, not Koko Krunch
Me: Do you miss mommy?
Baby: enough
*and he didn't talk to me anymore! the nerve!*
__________
i was driving the car and my uncle was with us. we were talking about something and the baby was just listening. when there was a lull in our conversation he asked: Mommy, what are you talking?
Saturday, October 8, 2011
shopaholic-not!
before i became a mom, shopping and i were very close. really close! in a month, i would go home with a new pair of shoes, a couple of tops, a dress, purse etc. (i wasn't really much into accessories or bling. i loved real gold and white gold jewelry though )
my closet was always full, my shoes were always in style, i was always in style. i used to match my bag with my shoes! and somehow, i always found a perfect bag for the perfect shoe. but that was history. now, i hardly ever buy anything for myself. my last bag purchase was last May, i think. i finally got my Longchamp (for travel) this month. but only because my gff was selling at a discounted price, straight from the US.
every now and then i get enough money left over for a new blouse. but that's it. i am currently lusting over a pair of sandals but i find the price too steep. before, i wouldn't have batted an eyelash at the cost. but now, i cannot afford to waste that amount on something so trivial. i mean, yes my feet will surely look good in them, but that would mean an empty pocket for me afterwards.
maybe it's called growing up, maybe it's called being practical. but as of today, the material things no longer matter as much. i can do without the trappings of a luxurious or stylish life. and i have been managing that for a few years already.
i would much rather see my baby dressed up to the nines more than me. one time, we were going out and i was just wearing shorts and a blouse with fitflops. he actually asked me this: mommy, where's your wow? for him, i wasn't dressed up at all!
my closet was always full, my shoes were always in style, i was always in style. i used to match my bag with my shoes! and somehow, i always found a perfect bag for the perfect shoe. but that was history. now, i hardly ever buy anything for myself. my last bag purchase was last May, i think. i finally got my Longchamp (for travel) this month. but only because my gff was selling at a discounted price, straight from the US.
every now and then i get enough money left over for a new blouse. but that's it. i am currently lusting over a pair of sandals but i find the price too steep. before, i wouldn't have batted an eyelash at the cost. but now, i cannot afford to waste that amount on something so trivial. i mean, yes my feet will surely look good in them, but that would mean an empty pocket for me afterwards.
maybe it's called growing up, maybe it's called being practical. but as of today, the material things no longer matter as much. i can do without the trappings of a luxurious or stylish life. and i have been managing that for a few years already.
i would much rather see my baby dressed up to the nines more than me. one time, we were going out and i was just wearing shorts and a blouse with fitflops. he actually asked me this: mommy, where's your wow? for him, i wasn't dressed up at all!
something missing
i grew up thinking i was nobody special. i was not pretty enough, i wasn't that intelligent, i could sing decently, i couldn't dance and i was not artistic.
before, it didn't bother me so much. i was after all simply average. but deep down, i thought something was missing in me. others could sing very well, or be very artistic, could dance gracefully etc. i couldn't find something i was really good at! i always felt second best.
every so often, i analyze my life. and still that something missing in me hasn't been filled. but somehow, that no longer matters. despite what is lacking in my life, i am happy. my friends say i'm pretty enough, the bf finds me beautiful. i find i am good at what i do, people admire my writing talent. i find it mediocre at best, but hey! it's still writing. and besides, God made me. i may not be perfect, but what i have came from Him. and for that alone, i am thankful. everything happens for a reason. and what i have or lack of it has a reason as well.
and besides, now that i have the baby, i feel complete!
before, it didn't bother me so much. i was after all simply average. but deep down, i thought something was missing in me. others could sing very well, or be very artistic, could dance gracefully etc. i couldn't find something i was really good at! i always felt second best.
every so often, i analyze my life. and still that something missing in me hasn't been filled. but somehow, that no longer matters. despite what is lacking in my life, i am happy. my friends say i'm pretty enough, the bf finds me beautiful. i find i am good at what i do, people admire my writing talent. i find it mediocre at best, but hey! it's still writing. and besides, God made me. i may not be perfect, but what i have came from Him. and for that alone, i am thankful. everything happens for a reason. and what i have or lack of it has a reason as well.
and besides, now that i have the baby, i feel complete!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
hodgepodge
last week, the bf and i travelled in the midst of yet another typhoon. but as always, we were lucky to have gone to manila after the storm has passed. while we did see some flooding in bulacan, it worsened after we went home. it's just sad to know some friends are still suffering up to now. the bf couldn't contact them anymore. i just hope they're good and well. one of bf's acquaintance has his house near the water and apparently, the water is up to neck now. God bless us all.
****
it's a lazy sunday and it's my day-off from the bf! hahaha! when i think of it, i feel like a maid. but really, it's our day to just laze around. i haven't even showered yet!
****
i'm taking a break from my friends. while i am close to them, a little distance won't hurt. one of my girlfriends is pregnant and she was the one who broke up with her husband. and while i have no right to think anything since it's not my life, still i'm kind of pissed at her. i mean, she kept on saying how she was over him etc. and now she's pregnant??? who else is she kidding but herself??? whatever!!!
****
i need to lose weight. slowly, i am regaining my old figure and i hate it! hahaha! the bf is fine with whatever size i am. (that's what they always say, right? ) but next month, i need to really watch what i shove in my mouth. i am back to drinking coke and eating sinful desserts. and it's absolutely delicious! it doesn't help that i no longer work so i really just keep on lying down and sleep and sit and eat!
****
the baby is growing fast! he's talkative and is eating well. the only problem is that he isn't potty trained yet. but i am not forcing him. in time, he'll figure it out. and i won't have to buy diapers anymore!
****
it's a lazy sunday and it's my day-off from the bf! hahaha! when i think of it, i feel like a maid. but really, it's our day to just laze around. i haven't even showered yet!
****
i'm taking a break from my friends. while i am close to them, a little distance won't hurt. one of my girlfriends is pregnant and she was the one who broke up with her husband. and while i have no right to think anything since it's not my life, still i'm kind of pissed at her. i mean, she kept on saying how she was over him etc. and now she's pregnant??? who else is she kidding but herself??? whatever!!!
****
i need to lose weight. slowly, i am regaining my old figure and i hate it! hahaha! the bf is fine with whatever size i am. (that's what they always say, right? ) but next month, i need to really watch what i shove in my mouth. i am back to drinking coke and eating sinful desserts. and it's absolutely delicious! it doesn't help that i no longer work so i really just keep on lying down and sleep and sit and eat!
****
the baby is growing fast! he's talkative and is eating well. the only problem is that he isn't potty trained yet. but i am not forcing him. in time, he'll figure it out. and i won't have to buy diapers anymore!
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